Oh, the classic masturbation question — how much is too much? Do people who are in a relationship masturbate? Oops, Delilah’s getting carried away here and asking the questions instead of answering them…
More to the point: Individuals vary tremendously in how much they masturbate. Some folks wouldn’t dream of it, while others masturbate two or three times in their lives, and others two or three times a day. (And those aren’t the only options!) There are no deleterious effects of masturbation itself, and it shouldn’t matter whether you’re single or in a relationship.
On the other hand, since you’re worried about how your masturbation may be affecting your relationship with your partner, here are a few things to think about to help you decide if it’s a problem or not:
You see, it’s not about how often you masturbate but about how you’re living the rest of your life. As long as masturbation is a part of your life and not instead of your life, you’re fine. When masturbation becomes an escape from problems in your relationship, or it begins to affect your health, or turn into a substitute for real life experiences, then you should consider slowing down on your stroking and dealing with who and what’s around you.
Masturbation is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality. More men than women masturbate, but it doesn’t matter what gender you identify with — if you’re human, it’s likely you’ve given it a try at some point. It’s the perfect way to release one’s sexual tension, and you don’t need anything more than a good imagination and some time in order to do it.
Women often start masturbating later in life than men, and approach masturbation more tentatively. Many women feel uncomfortable touching themselves directly and prefer to instead rely on either a vibrator or some other object to masturbate with. This is completely natural and normal. There is no “right” way to masturbate — it’s different for every person. Many women can reach orgasm more readily while masturbating than when having sex. This may be due to many reasons, including the fact that we know what we like best (and can most easily do it ourselves).
Like most men, most women prefer masturbating in private, and the shower or bath is often one perfect place to do so. It affords a certain amount of privacy that a person can be assured won’t readily be broken (especially if you lock the door beforehand!).
Using a shower massager is one of the tried-and-true ways of reaching orgasm for many women. In fact, one study showed this method to be the third most common way that women discovered orgasm (just after hands and rubbing against an object).
It is very hard to cause damage to your body by masturbating, no matter how you do it. Just use your body as a guide: If something feels painful, then stop. (That’s a good rule for anything in life — if it’s something you don’t like or feels painful, then stop doing it.)
But there is no harm from using a shower massager in order to masturbate. About the worst thing that could happen is that if a lot of water were to enter your vagina it could upset the natural balance and make you susceptible to a yeast infection. If you want to avoid this, concentrate the water on the outside and don’t put the shower massager directly up against or inside your vagina.
Otherwise, relax and enjoy!