Feeling unappreciated in a relationship can leave you feeling lonely, sad, frustrated, or worse. Practicing open communication and setting boundaries may help.

When you are feeling unappreciated in a relationship, it can wreak havoc on your emotions and feelings of self-worth. You may start questioning what you bring to the relationship, or you may begin to resent the other person for not recognizing your efforts.

In either case, it does not feel good. In some cases, you may be able to take steps to let your partner, friend, or other person recognize your worth.

In other cases, you may benefit from walking away to find someone who appreciates your unique personality and value.

It’s not always easy to spot when your partner does not value you or your efforts. Some potential signs to look for that could indicate that your partner does not value you as much as they should include:

  • You notice a decrease in intimacy.
  • They stop making an effort for you.
  • Your partner does not consider your feelings or thoughts when making decisions.
  • They no longer appear to appreciate what you do for them.
  • Your partner no longer pays attention to you.

If you experience feeling unappreciated in a relationship, you may find taking one or more of the following steps helpful.

Talk with them about what you need

It’s possible that your partner does not mean to make you feel unappreciated. You may not be communicating your needs to each other in a way you understand.

According to a 2023 study, discussing issues in the relationship and actively attempting to resolve those issues indicates care and appreciation in the relationship.

You may find discussing what you need or how you feel unappreciated may help the other person realize that your needs are not being met.

Talking with them about it may help them realize what types of positive changes they can make and may also allow them to speak to you about ways that you can make them feel more appreciated as well.

Try saying no

No can be a powerful word. Saying no to things can be challenging because you may fear how your partner will respond.

Saying no to things that you do not want to do helps to set boundaries. It also helps you express what you like and dislike to your partner.

Check out this resource for tips on setting boundaries.

Divide up the chores

Once you move in with your partner, the initial honeymoon phase will eventually wear off as the realities of cohabitating set in. You will need to care for your shared living space, pets, and — in some cases — children.

Studies support the notion that dividing up the household chores equally benefits the quality of a relationship. A 2022 study indicates that communication skills, particularly among males, leads to a more egalitarian division of chores, leading to both partners feeling more appreciated and satisfied.

Let them ask

If you find yourself feeling unappreciated in a relationship, try waiting to act until they ask you to do a chore or other task.

In some cases, you may be too enabling or not giving them a chance to do a specific task by themselves.

You may find that waiting until they ask if you need help either opens up room to discuss how you’re feeling or that they’ll take over the chore without complaint.

Consider walking away

If you feel you have made an effort to discuss your needs with your partner or notice no improvements, you may want to consider walking away from the relationship. They may have emotionally moved on or may not be invested anymore.

In either case, if your partner does not respond to your attempts, it may be time to consider whether the relationship is no longer worth it for either of you.

Consider honestly communicating with your partner to determine if there’s a chance to rebuild your relationship or if it may be best to move on.

For tips on rekindling a relationship, consider visiting our resource page.

Counseling for couples may help if you’re feeling unappreciated by your partner.

Couples therapy has a long history of helping couples work through issues and determine compatibility. In the past, people generally considered it an offshoot or last resort, but in recent years, it has become a prominent and important form of therapy.

In other words, it does not have to be a “last resort” or only if you feel your relationship is at risk of falling apart. You may find it useful to help you and your partner feel more appreciated, respected, and loved.

Feeling unappreciated in a relationship can lead to resentment and lack of fulfillment.

Talking with your partner may help. Having a conversation about how you’re feeling, what you need, and asking about their needs may help clarify what’s going on. You may find that having a conversation and taking action on what you discuss may be all you need to do.

But you may also find that changing around who does what chores, saying no to some requests, and waiting for them to ask about chores or tasks may also help.

You may also want to consider couples counseling. This therapy can help improve communication and strengthen a relationship.

In some cases, you may need to walk away from the relationship if steps to change how you feel unappreciated do not change.