When you become sexually active or before you become sexually active, one of the most important questions to consider is, “what are my values surrounding sex?”
There are no good or bad values for sex.
Each person has a different perspective on what sex means to them and how they want to engage in sex. In fact, your values surrounding sex may change over time. And that’s OK.
It’s crucial that you do what’s comfortable for you and that you find sexual partners with similar values as you have regarding sex.
Before taking our sex values quiz, consider doing your own personal exploration to find out your sex personality. Some of the key topics to consider include:
The meaning of sex
- What’s the main purpose of sex to you?
- How big of an emotional deal is sex to you?
- How do you know when you’re ready to have sex with someone?
- Is love an important aspect of sex to you?
- How do you want to discuss sex with your children (or future children)?
Expectation of partner
- Is it important your sexual partner(s) has the same sex values as you?
- How do you expect to be treated by your partner?
- What does consent mean to you?
- What (if anything) do you want to discuss with your sexual partner beforehand?
- When do you use condoms?
- What types of sex acts are you comfortable with (e.g. vaginal, oral, anal, etc.)?
- What are your sexual turn-ons?
- Are you interested in exploring different sexual practices (e.g. sex toys, BDSM, etc.)
- What are your views on masturbation?
- What are your views on pornography?
Sexual identity and number of partners
- Are you comfortable with sex before marriage?
- Are you more interested in monogamous or non-monogamous relationships?
- Are you interested in engaging in sex with more than one person at a time (e.g. threesomes or group sex)?
- Which gender(s) are you sexually interested in?
Having the answers to all these topics immediately isn’t required. But you can reflect back on them as you gain more sexual and romantic experiences.
A good starting place is to consider which of these questions you immediately have strong opinions on and which you aren’t yet sure about. You can also consider which of these questions feel the most meaningful to you to explore.
If you have a sexual partner, you can even discuss this list with them to see how closely you align on your sex values. Discussing sex can be a way to cultivate intimacy with your partner. It can also lead to greater comfort in sharing your sexual desires and fears.
This brief, time-saving quiz is for anyone who wants to learn more about their values surrounding sex. Sex values exist on a spectrum ranging from progressive to traditional, and where you fall on this spectrum may change over time.
This quiz is a good place to begin thinking about what sex means to you and to become more intentional about the choices you make surrounding sex.
This online screening is not a definitive tool. Your quiz results don’t necessarily have to dictate what your sex values will be for the long term.
Remember, your sex values can change over time.
Think of your results like a starting point to determining what your sex values are and what you’d like them to be.