6 Signs of a Friend with Narcissistic Traits

These signs and symptoms of narcissism or NPD can show up in your friend’s behavior:

1. A constant need for admiration

People with narcissistic traits are often seeking praise. They do their best to keep all the attention in the friendship on themselves.

“Narcissists constantly need others’ admiration and validation; it’s like oxygen to them,” says Lindsey Tong, clinical director at Profound Treatment in Los Angeles, CA. “They feed off external recognition and praise, often fishing for compliments or exaggerating their accomplishments.”

In addition, friends with narcissistic traits tend to dominate conversations to boast about successes or highlight their achievements.

This constant self-promotion can make interactions with a narcissistic friend feel exhausting.

2. Lack of empathy

It can be hard, if not impossible, for a narcissist to be empathetic. This may make it challenging for a person with traits of narcissism to understand or care about other people’s feelings and needs.

They may dismiss or trivialize your emotions, making the friendship feel one-sided. As a result, you may end up feeling neglected, used, or abused.

3. Sense of superiority

It’s common for people with narcissistic traits to project a sense of superiority. Deep down, though, they may feel insecure, jealous, and envious of others.

A friend with narcissistic traits or NPD may become overly competitive, belittle you, or downplay your achievements to feel better about themselves.

Narcissists also tend to believe they deserve special treatment. This may include expecting others to cater to their needs without reciprocating.

4. Obsession with status

Another common trait among narcissists is an obsession with how people perceive them socially. They often value material possessions, titles, and connections that enhance perceived status.

Because of this, they may pursue friendships based solely on what others can do for them rather than on shared values or interests.

This could ultimately lead to narcissists having superficial relationships.

5. Manipulation and violation of boundaries

People who exhibit traits of narcissism often use manipulation to get what they want.

According to Psychologist Nick Bach, a friend with narcissistic traits might guilt-trip or pressure you to conform to their desires. They may also disregard your personal boundaries.

“You may find they intrude on your privacy or demand excessive attention,” he says.

6. Inability to handle rejection

Perhaps one of the more challenging traits is the inability to handle rejection or criticism. Tong adds that any perceived slight against your friend may lead to intense emotional reactions, such as anger, aggression, and even depression.

“Narcissists take everything personally,” she explains. “So when people criticize something about what they’ve done wrong (which happens often), they consider it an attack on their perceived self. Their sensitivity towards negative feedback often creates hostile environments both at work and in their private life.”

Dealing with narcissism or NPD can make friendship challenging, but there are ways to engage while protecting yourself.

Our experts offer some tips that can help:

Establish clear boundaries

Maintaining a friendship with someone who displays narcissistic traits requires firm boundaries. Communicate your needs clearly and consistently, and avoid engaging in their manipulative tactics.

For example, try limiting your time together or talking about neutral topics that do not trigger narcissistic responses.

Manage your expectations

Managing your expectations may protect you from disappointment within the friendship.

Instead of waiting for mutual support and understanding, try to concentrate on what you can control in the relationship.

Assert yourself

Maintain a healthy sense of self-worth, whether or not your narcissistic friend recognizes or validates it.

Do things that make you feel good about yourself, and be with those who appreciate and value you for who you are.

Use ‘I’ statements

When addressing problematic behavior, frame your concerns using “I” statements to minimize defensiveness.

For example, instead of saying, “You always ignore me,” consider saying, “I feel hurt when you disregard my feelings,” to avoid triggering narcissistic responses.

Practice self-care

Take care of yourself by doing things that reduce stress and keep you well.

These may include things like hobbies, physical exercise, and meditation sessions aimed at keeping positive thoughts.

Seek professional help

Dealing with a person with narcissistic traits or NPD can be emotionally draining. It’s important to regularly reassess the friendship’s impact on your well-being.

Seek professional guidance, if needed, to navigate complex emotions. A therapist can help you learn how to manage interactions while protecting your mental and emotional health.

Know when to walk away

If your friendship causes significant distress or harm, it might be best to distance yourself.

However, if you choose to continue the friendship, ensure you have strong support systems in place.

Maintaining a friendship with someone with narcissistic traits or NPD can be challenging. Knowing what to look for is the first step.

Your friend may show a lack of empathy, a sense of superiority, and a constant need for admiration. They may also use manipulative behavior or violate your personal boundaries to get what they want.

It can take time and patience, but you can learn to manage interactions with a friend with narcissistic traits. It’s possible to manage your friendship while protecting your mental and emotional health by:

• establishing clear boundaries
• managing expectations
• seeking professional help