Frequently Asked Questions About Sexuality
Your sexuality is as unique to you as your personality. No two people’s sexuality is exactly the same, although many people share similar types of sexual desires, appetites, and drive. Your sexuality is much like your personality is that it is an enduring part of you that doesn’t generally change much over time. Your sexual orientation is not something you can choose — it is an innate part of you that is determined at birth.
Our sexuality and sexual orientation is characterized by our affection and romantic attraction toward others.
Sexual orientation exists along a continuum or spectrum that ranges from exclusive heterosexuality to exclusive homosexuality and includes various forms of bisexuality. Bisexual persons can experience sexual and emotional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex. Persons with a homosexual orientation are sometimes referred to as gay (both men and women) or as lesbian (women only). LGBTQ refers to the wide range of this spectrum — lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer.
Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Individuals may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviors.
What Causes a Person To Have a Particular Sexual Orientation?
There are numerous theories about the origins of a person’s sexual orientation. Most scientists today agree that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. There is also considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person’s sexuality.
It’s important to recognize that there are probably many reasons for a person’s sexual orientation, and the reasons may be different for different people.
Is Sexual Orientation a Choice?
No, human beings cannot choose to be either gay or straight. For most people, sexual orientation emerges in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. Although we can choose whether to act on our feelings, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.
Can Therapy Change Sexual Orientation?
No. Even though most LGBTQ people live successful, happy lives, some homosexual or bisexual people may seek to change their sexual orientation through therapy, often coerced by family members or religious groups to try and do so. The reality is that homosexuality is not an illness. It does not require treatment and is not changeable. However, not all gay, lesbian, and bisexual people who seek assistance from a mental health professional want to change their sexual orientation. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual people may seek psychological help with the coming out process or for strategies to deal with prejudice, but most go into therapy for the same reasons and life issues that bring straight people to mental health professionals.
There is no scientific evidence that supports the use of so-called “conversion therapy” to change a person’s sexual orientation. It is considered by most people within the scientific and treatment communities to be a sham treatment.
Is Being Gay a Mental Illness or Emotional Problem?
No, absolutely not. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and other mental health professionals agree that being LGBTQ is not an illness, a mental disorder, or an emotional problem. More than 50 years of objective, well-designed scientific research has shown that being LGBTQ, in and itself, is not associated with mental disorders or emotional or social problems. LGBTQ was once thought to be a mental illness because mental health professionals and society had biased information.
In the past, the studies of LGBTQ people involved only those in therapy, thus biasing the resulting conclusions. When researchers examined data about such people who were not in therapy, the idea that homosexuality was a mental illness was quickly found to be untrue.
In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association confirmed the importance of the new, better-designed research and removed homosexuality from the official manual that lists mental and emotional disorders. Two years later, the American Psychological Association passed a resolution supporting this removal.
Can Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals Be Good Parents?
Absolutely (and the question is kind of offensive). Studies comparing groups of children raised by gays and by heterosexual parents find no developmental differences between the two groups of children in four critical areas: their intelligence, psychological adjustment, social adjustment, and popularity with friends. It is also important to realize that a parent’s sexual orientation does not indicate their children’s.
Another myth about homosexuality is the mistaken belief that gay men have more of a tendency than heterosexual men to sexually molest children. There is zero scientific evidence to suggest that gay men are at greater risk to molest children. Most child molesters are straight, white males.
Why Is the “Coming Out” Process Difficult for Some Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People?
For some gay and bisexual people the “coming out” process is difficult; for others it is not. Often lesbian, gay and bisexual people feel afraid, different, and alone when they first realize that their sexual orientation is different from the community norm. This is particularly true for people becoming aware of their gay, lesbian, or bisexual orientation in childhood or adolescence, which is not uncommon. And depending on their families and their communities, they may have to struggle against prejudice and misinformation about people who are LGBTQ.
Children and adolescents may be particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of bias and stereotypes. They may also fear being rejected by family, friends, co-workers, and religious institutions. Some gay people have to worry about losing their jobs or being harassed at school if their sexual orientation became well known.
Unfortunately, LGBTQ people are at a higher risk for physical assault and violence than are heterosexuals. Studies done in California in the mid-1990s showed that nearly one-fifth of all lesbians who took part in the study, and more than one-fourthof all gay men who participated, had been the victim of a hate crime based on their sexual orientation. In another California study of approximately 500 young adults, half of all the young men participating in the study admitted to some form of anti-gay aggression, ranging from name-calling to physical violence.
What Can Be Done to Overcome the Prejudice and Discrimination that Gay Men, Lesbians, and Bisexuals Experience?
Research has found that the people who have the most positive attitudes toward LGBTQ are those who say they know one or more LGBTQ person well, often as a friend or co-worker. For this reason, psychologists believe that negative attitudes toward gay people as a group are prejudices that are not grounded in actual experience but are based on stereotypes and misinformation. Furthermore, protection against violence and discrimination are very important, just as they are for any other minority groups. Some states include violence against an individual on the basis of his or her sexual orientation as a “hate crime,” and ten U.S. states have laws against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
Educating all people about sexual orientation and LGBTQ is likely to diminish anti-gay prejudice. Accurate information about LGBTQ is especially important to young people who are first discovering and seeking to understand their sexuality, no matter their sexual orientation. Fears that access to such information will make more people gay have no validity; information about LGBTQ does not make someone gay or straight.
Cohen, H. (2018). Frequently Asked Questions About Sexuality. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 29, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/lib/frequently-asked-questions-about-sexuality/