Do you find it challenging to regulate your emotional responses in times of stress? If so, it may have a lot to do with your window of tolerance.
We all handle the stressors of everyday life differently. For some people, the emotional and stressful triggers they face day-to-day can be emotionally overwhelming — at times even interfering with daily activities.
The way you handle stress can depend on your window of tolerance and how wide or narrow it is.
But what if you find yourself slipping outside your window of tolerance frequently? There may be ways to help widen your window and increase your ability to react to stress more effectively.
This concept was developed by Dan Siegel, MD, and refers to the ideal emotional zone that a person needs for optimal functioning. If you’re within your optimal tolerance zone, you feel grounded and can manage your emotions effectively.
Here’s the difference between them:
- Hyperarousal. In this state, you may notice heightened agitation, anxiety, or anger. You may also feel overwhelmed.
- Hypoarousal. Moving into this state may result in feelings of numbness, disassociation, or exhaustion. You may also experience feelings of depression or lack energy.
Both hyperarousal and hypoarousal can occur when your fight, flight, or freeze response has been activated. Hypoarousal can also occur when hyperarousal becomes overwhelming.
Your window of tolerance can be vastly different from someone else’s, and how wide your window is can depend on several factors.
Some common factors include:
- childhood experiences
- support from family and friends
- ability to self-regulate emotions
- traumatic experiences
- an existing mental health condition
Other factors — such as lack of sleep, illness, or substance use — might also narrow your window of tolerance.
If you live with a mental health condition, your window of tolerance might be extremely narrow. This can make it even more of a challenge to manage your symptoms, emotions, or behaviors.
Some mental health conditions that may affect your window of tolerance include:
Experiencing trauma or having post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can also affect your window of tolerance significantly. This is because traumatic experiences can make your fight, flight, or freeze response more easily triggered — even if the trauma happened years ago.
Research from 2020 suggests that PTSD can also impact structures in your brain — including your frontal lobe, anterior cingulate, and thalamic regions. All of these may affect how your brain responds to emotional triggers.
Additionally, if your window of tolerance is narrow, it can impact the effectiveness of certain types of therapy and prevent you from learning new coping strategies.
For instance, if you shift out of your tolerance zone during therapy sessions, you may not be open to a therapist’s suggestions. In work or school environments, moving outside your window of tolerance may result in difficulties with learning and productivity.
Recognizing your window of tolerance starts with gaining self-awareness of what situations or triggers make you feel on edge and unable to manage your emotions. It also involves identifying those times when you’ve felt most calm and present.
For example, you may notice that calls or text from a certain person make you feel overly anxious. Or when stressors are too overwhelming, you may notice feelings of dissociation or emotional shutdown.
These are times when thoughts, events, or circumstances may have caused you to slip outside your tolerance zone and into a hyperaroused or hypoaroused state.
On the other hand, there are times when you’ve felt able to manage your thoughts and emotions, were productive, and navigated stress effectively. Those are situations when you may have been comfortably within your tolerance window.
If you can become self-aware of what triggers your hyperarousal or hypoarousal, it may be easier to manage those states when they appear. This can also help you remain in your window of tolerance more often.
Figuring out how to manage your window of tolerance is a personal experience, and what works for one person might not work for you.
You might want to consider these tips:
- Try to have enough balance in your daily life to help reduce stress. This includes downtime, sleep time, physical activity, and connecting with others.
- Try to be mindful of triggers and notice when you’re in the space between stimulus and response. Then consider focusing on your needs at that moment to prevent responding in ways that lead to hyper- or hypoarousal.
- Try to identify the factors that impact your window of tolerance and address them as best as you can. This could include talking with a mental health professional about past trauma or other mental health concerns.
- Try to learn self-regulation skills to help you move from hyperarousal or hypoarousal back to your window of tolerance.
If you want to move from hyperarousal back to your window of tolerance, you could try:
- deep breathing techniques
- brisk exercise
- listening to music that’s more soothing
- practicing positive affirmations
- using sensory equipment such as stress balls, rocking chairs, or weighted blankets
- moving to a “safe zone” in your home or workplace
If you want to move from hypoarousal back to your window of tolerance, consider:
- stimulating your senses with sound, smell, taste, or touch
- physical movement and exercise
- listening to upbeat, stimulating music
- taking a brief nap to “reboot” your central nervous system
If you’re helping someone else who is having difficulty staying within their window of tolerance, consider being as empathetic as possible. You could also attempt to identify what is causing their emotional distress and help them navigate back to their optimal tolerance zone.
However, sometimes it’s best to allow them the space and time they need to self-regulate, as long as they will remain safe doing so.
Having a wide window of tolerance might help you remain grounded and effectively deal with stress. However, if you have a narrow tolerance zone, you may find it more challenging to stay emotionally regulated.
It’s not your fault if you frequently move out of your optimal tolerance window.
Many factors can make staying within this zone more challenging. These include experiencing trauma or having a mental health condition such as anxiety.
Still, there are ways you can widen your window of tolerance to help you deal with emotional triggers and day-to-day stress more effectively. These include understanding your emotional triggers and identifying and implementing self-regulation techniques to help you stay within your ideal tolerance zone.