Teens may have difficulty separating their own thoughts and feelings from what they think others are thinking or feeling. Here’s how you can support your teen’s mental health during this time.

In 1967, psychologist David Elkind introduced the concept of ‘adolescent egocentrism,’ expanding on Jean Piaget’s theories of cognitive development.

Elkind revealed how teenagers, with their newfound ability for abstract thinking, often misjudge how much others notice and judge them. This can make adolescents feel as though they’re constantly under scrutiny or misunderstood.

Let’s look at how adolescent egocentrism influences teenage behavior and shapes their self-awareness.

Adolescent egocentrism describes a stage during teenage development in which individuals have difficulty differentiating their own perspective from others’.

This means teenagers may feel like others are constantly observing and judging them more than they actually are. It may also lead them to believe their own experiences are unique and not fully understood by others. This can result in heightened self-consciousness and a sense of being misunderstood.

While the concept introduced by Elkind in 1967 remains influential, research has evolved to explore the nuances of adolescent self-perception and social cognition.

A 2016 study found that both adolescents and adults tend to overestimate how visible their thoughts and feelings are to others. The research suggests that adolescents’ self-perception might not be more self-focused than that of adults.

Examples of adolescent egocentrism

Here are some examples of adolescent egocentrism that parents may notice:

  • Heightened self-consciousness: Teens may act as if they believe everyone is constantly watching and judging their every move. This may lead to behaviors like excessive grooming or anxiety about their appearance.
  • Exaggerated reactions: They might overreact to minor issues, believing them to be more significant or embarrassing than they are. For instance, they may obsess over a small mistake in a social situation.
  • Belief in unique experiences: Teens may insist that no one else can understand what they’re going through, claiming their experiences are completely different from anyone else’s.
  • Feeling invincible: They might believe they’re invincible or that the consequences of harmful behaviors won’t affect them, thinking their life is somehow different from others.

Elkind identified two key features of adolescent egocentrism:

  • Imaginary audience: Adolescents believe that they’re constantly being observed and judged by others, which leads to heightened self-consciousness and concern about their appearance and behavior.
  • Personal fable: Teenagers often perceive their own experiences, feelings, and thoughts as unique and exceptional. This can potentially lead them to believe that no one else can truly understand their personal experiences.

Even though the term “egocentrism” sounds negative, it’s not necessarily about being selfish or egotistic. Piaget explained that egocentrism is a normal part of growing up — a time when people are naturally more focused on themselves and their own experiences as they develop.

Egocentrism in adolescence is primarily caused by developmental changes in cognitive abilities. As teenagers develop more advanced abstract thinking and reasoning skills, they begin to focus intensely on their own thoughts and experiences.

Research suggests that egocentrism in teenagers is influenced by several factors:

  • changes in puberty
  • the development of new thinking skills
  • becoming more independent from parents
  • forming their own identity

This cognitive shift can lead to the belief that others are equally focused on them and their actions, resulting in feelings of being constantly observed and judged.

Supporting a teen with egocentric characteristics involves understanding their developmental stage and helping them manage their self-focused tendencies.

Here are some strategies:

  • Open communication: Have regular, honest conversations about your teen’s feelings and concerns. For example, ask, “What makes you feel like others are judging you?” and listen carefully to their responses.
  • Share personal experiences: Share your own experiences of feeling self-conscious and how you managed those feelings. This can show them that these thoughts are common but often not reflective of reality.
  • Challenge negative thoughts: Teach your teen to identify and challenge their negative thoughts. For example, if they think, “Everyone must think I’m awkward,” help them question this thought and replace it with a more realistic perspective.
  • Role-playing scenarios: Practice different social scenarios where they might feel judged. Discuss the difference between real judgment and mere observation to help your teen understand that people are often more focused on their own lives.
  • Encourage empathy: Engage in community service together and discuss diverse life experiences through books or movies. Help your teen understand and relate to others’ feelings and challenges.
  • Focus on strengths: Support your teen in identifying and celebrating their strengths and achievements. Encourage activities that build confidence and reduce self-consciousness.

Adolescent egocentrism is a developmental stage in which teens believe they’re the center of attention and that their experiences and emotions are more intense and unique than those of others.

As a parent, you can support your teen by having open conversations, helping them build confidence, and encouraging empathy for others. For further assistance, consider visiting our page to discover more ways to support your teen.