While someone’s behavior and actions can sometimes influence your mood, only you can manage your emotions.
We’ve all been there — those moments where we feel hurt over something someone has said or done. When this happens, it’s easy to assume that the other person is responsible for making you feel that way.
Despite popular belief, no one can make you feel anything.
While other people can affect your mood, they’re not responsible for your feelings. By shifting the way you think, you can learn to manage your mood and emotions.
Changing your mindset is a process that begins with awareness. The way you think can influence how you feel.
Taking a moment to identify your thought patterns can help you understand why and how they affect you.
Sometimes your thoughts aren’t always directly related to the present and could be reaffirming negative beliefs you have about yourself.
Learning to reframe these unhelpful thoughts can help you see things differently, allowing you to consider the best possible outcome to a situation. It involves challenging your assumptions and asking yourself whether there’s any truth to them.
While you’re primarily responsible for managing your feelings, others can influence your emotions. Part of this will depend on how you want to feel.
A 2019 study suggested that your motivations may play an important role in how much you allow others to influence your feelings. So, if you think a situation calls for a certain response, it may affect the strength of your emotions.
This explains why some people react differently to the same situation. For instance, while some may shrug off an unpleasant comment to remain calm, others may take offense and say something in anger to serve their point.
In the same way that you can determine whether others can influence your emotions, you can also choose whether to accept how they make you feel.
As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
In other words, you’re responsible for your feelings. If you already assume that you’re someone who can feel inferior because of someone else, it’s less likely that you’ll think otherwise.
How a person makes you feel ultimately lies at the core of what you think about yourself and what you choose to believe.
Just as other people can impact your emotions, your words and actions can also influence theirs.
Your emotional state can create a knock-on effect, influencing anyone in your environment and people they come into contact with.
This regularly happens in workplaces. When a team member has a negative attitude, it can create a toxic workplace environment. The same goes for positive emotions.
According to a 2015 study, working with positive individuals can improve your performance. So, if you’re in a good mood, you’re likely to increase your team’s sense of motivation.
Additionally, you can also use your emotions as a tool to shape the outcome of a situation. You may express certain emotions to signal to someone that you care about them or help them feel more at ease.
Your emotions can often be largely misunderstood. Learning the truth behind the most common myths can help lessen the confusion.
Myth 1: “I shouldn’t feel this way”
All too often, we may judge or criticize ourselves for feeling strongly about something we consider minor. But there’s no right or wrong way to feel. The key is to accept how you feel and to understand how best to manage it.
Myth 2: “But I can’t help the way I feel”
Your thoughts can have a profound effect on your emotions. It can influence how you feel and behave. When you become aware of your thoughts, you can shift the outcome toward a positive one.
Myth 3: “Controlling my emotions is denying how I truly feel”
People often see regulating emotions as trying to suppress how you initially feel. But that’s not the case.
Sometimes emotions can become overwhelming. Managing them effectively involves finding balance so that you don’t react in unhelpful ways.
It’s not uncommon to feel hurt by certain things people say or do at times, but it is manageable.
What you think directly influences how you feel and respond. By changing your mindset, you can learn to manage your emotions.
It’s a process that may require some practice. But with a bit of time and patience, you’ll be able to cope better.
Remember that you’re primarily responsible for your feelings, and because of that, no one can make you feel anything.
If managing your emotions becomes overwhelming, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. They can provide you with helpful tools and guide you on next steps.
If you’re unsure where to start, you can check out Psych Central’s hub on finding mental health support.