Are you living in a sexually satisfied city, like Columbus, Ohio? Or, like residents of Manchester, New Hampshire, are you more likely sexually unsatisfied?

A new survey from Men’s Health magazine released a new list this week of “sexually satisfied” cities, as well as those who fare not so well. They looked at a number of statistical factors to arrive at these admittedly arbitrary distinctions — birth rates (I suppose under the assumption that those cities with higher birth rates have a higher rate of sexual activity as well), sales of sex toys and condoms, and rates of sexually transmitted diseases. One could certainly argue with these choices.

But without further ado, we bring you the sexually most satisfied cities in the U.S.:

Most sexually satisfied cities in the U.S.

  1. Indianapolis, IN
  2. Columbus, OH
  3. Fort Wayne, IN
  4. Cincinnati, OH
  5. Salt Lake City, UT
  6. San Antonio, TX
  7. Denver, CO
  8. Austin, TX
  9. Boise City, ID
  10. Chicago, IL

Read on for the “least sexually satisfied” cities in the U.S…

There’s not a lot of rhyme or reason behind the next list. One could probably find some sort of pattern in this and the top 10 list, but I think that’s just human nature — to look for geographic patterns where none necessarily exist.

I do have to smirk a bit at Manchester, NH being near the top of this list. I spent 4 years working in Manchester, NH, and let’s just say I’m not surprised at its presence on this list.

Least sexually satisfied cities in the U.S.

  1. Lexington, KY
  2. Birmingham, AL
  3. Manchester, NH
  4. Yonkers, NY
  5. Montgomery, AL
  6. Newark, NJ
  7. Providence, RI
  8. Jersey City, NJ
  9. Greensboro, NC
  10. Jacksonville, FL

Austin is a funky, weird town. They pride themselves on their weirdness. But it’s also home of the University of Texas campus — one of the largest public institutions in the U.S. So it’s not surprising that they are both “sexually satisfied” and sell the most condoms. Young people have sex. A lot of sex. A lot of usually good, fun sex!

You will find a lot of university towns on this list — which explains the high condom sales alone.

Highest Condom Sales

  1. Austin, TX
  2. San Antonio, TX
  3. Grand Rapids, MI
  4. Aurora, CO
  5. Cheyenne, WY
  6. Colorado Springs, CO
  7. Denver, CO
  8. Detroit, MI
  9. Toledo, OH
  10. Boise City, ID

Interesting, but it’s completely arbitrary, as I said in the introduction to this entry. You could just as easily pick another 5 different factors, and use that as the basis of your “most sexually satisfied” list. One set of factors isn’t more valid than another — it’s a purely subjective choice.

This is a good example of data masking as news or journalism. It’s not news, and it’s barely journalism. (Which begs the question — what’s a blog post reporting on such articles?)

Read more: See all the stats on the Men’s Health website, or read their article on the survey.