Relationships & Love Library


F E A T U R E D    A R T I C L E

Book Review: The Matchmaker

August 21st, 2014
The Matchmaker, Elin Hilderbrand’s new summer novel, brings readers back to the place where the sand is hot but the ground is healing — Nantucket. This beautifully written and thought-provoking story illustrates the power of love and emphasizes the notion that we have one life to live -- how can we make it ...

Attachment Panic, or Why You Can’t ‘Just Chill Out’

Attachment Panic, or Why You Can’t 'Just Chill Out'All over the world, in many different languages, at this very moment (accounting for time differences), there are couples having a conversation that goes kind of like this: Woman: Why didn't you call me when you were going to ...

Healing from Neglect: When Those We Love Don’t Love Us

BOOK REVIEW.
It is an emotion that has inspired the rise and fall of empires and that influences the very foundation of our development. But how you approach love is dependent on your past and present associations with it. The belief that love is a many-splendored thing falls away when we step back and evaluated the collateral ...

6 Obstacles to Building a Healthy Marriage

weddingNewly wed is such a warm and promising term. It means that you are newly launching into another stage of life. You are now married. It’s a shift in a relationship even if you’ve been together for years. How you treat each other in the next few ...

Book Review: The One & Only

BOOK REVIEW.
A palpable buzz is in the air of Huntington’s renowned book shop. On a May night, this Long Island, New York, venue is packed with females and the demographic is vast: teenage girls, young women, and senior citizens all seated in place. We’re here to meet Emily Giffin, the incredibly sweet, down-to-earth Atlanta resident and ...

Conquering Shame & Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You

BOOK REVIEW.
“I had found the enemy — and it was me.”  So writes Darlene Lancer in Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You. Sometimes there are true external foes that we must fight and defeat. But quite often, when we take a hard look at a situation, we are indeed our own worst enemy. ...

Feeling Loved: Finding Happiness in an Overstressed World

BOOK REVIEW.
We have been writing about love for millennia. From the earliest surviving love poem dating from around 2030 BCE to the work of philosophers like Lao Tzu to the sonnets of Shakespeare, countless tomes have been written about seeking love, finding love, feeling love, and all the possible variations on the theme. In the modern ...

Are You in Denial?

Are You in Denial?We’re all in denial. We’d barely get through the day if we worried that we or people we love could die today. Life is unpredictable, and denial helps us cope and focus on what we must in order to survive. On the other ...

Don’t Ask Your Partner to Erase the Past

marriage_communication5I’ve received dozens of letters to the Psych Central advice column with the same problem: The writer has married a man or woman who is divorced and is upset because the new spouse wants to keep old pictures or items from their former marriage. For the spouse, ...

Stages of Marriage

Relationship Tips for Those Rocky First Few Years of MarriageSummertime is wedding time for thousands of couples. For months, perhaps even a year, you’ve been focused on making your wedding day perfect. Thoughts and conversations have gone into deciding everything from colors for the flowers to ...

Book Review: Reconcilable Differences

BOOK REVIEW.
If you’re searching for one useful self-help book for couples, versus an entire bookcase of them, the second edition of Reconcilable Differences may be your answer. Through this revised text, readers committed to mending a relationship rife with serious recurring conflicts may find more clarity, conflict resolution solutions, and routes to greater acceptance of their ...

The Effects of Criticism on Relationships

The Effects of Criticism on RelationshipsAgain and again in my work with couples I see the destructive effect criticism can have on a relationship. In this article I would like to explore what my three favorite relationship experts have to say about criticism and its effects ...

Clinicians on the Couch: 10 Questions with Psychotherapist Kathy Morelli

kathy morelli 2 In our monthly series, we switch roles and put clinicians on the proverbial couch to get a glimpse into their professional and personal lives. We ask them about everything from the trials and triumphs of conducting therapy to how they cope with stress. They also ...

Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

BOOK REVIEW.
Sometimes one has the pleasure of reading a book that provides genuine insight and discusses a concept previously unnamed. Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, by clinical psychologist Jonice Webb and contributor Christine Musello, was one such book for me.  It is no secret that I consider many self-help books questionable, or, at best, critically lacking ...

Safe with Me

BOOK REVIEW.
Amy Hatvany’s latest ‘can’t put down’ read and thought-provoking novel, Safe With Me, explores various themes - the role of technology in adolescents’ lives, grief management and dishonesty - but one that she truly delves into is the complexity surrounding domestic abuse. When Hannah, a single mother and successful salon stylist, tragically loses her 12-year-old daughter, ...

Neuroscience Sheds Light on Why People with Asperger’s Syndrome Lack Empathy

Neuroscience Sheds Light on Why People with Asperger’s Syndrome Lack EmpathyFamilies of those with Asperger’s want to know why their Aspies act the way they do. In my psychology practice I have Neuro-typical (NT) clients repeatedly ask me regarding their Asperger spouse, “Why can’t she see ...

When OCD Targets Your Relationship

When OCD Targets Your RelationshipChuck said he wasn’t sure if he really loved his fiancée. Yes, there were times, when he was certain he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But lately, the doubts were constant and he thought he should break ...

Mastering the Art of Quitting: Why It Matters in Life, Love & Work

BOOK REVIEW.
One of my earliest childhood memories is of me at three years old sitting on my mother’s lap while she read from the The Little Engine That Could. Originally published in 1930, the story is meant to inculcate children with the values of persistence. Hence the repetition: I think I can, I think I can. It is precisely ...

Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships

BOOK REVIEW.
Before I even opened the book, I was skeptical. Why should there be a science to love? Does love really need to be explained? In Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, clinical psychologist and professor Sue Johnson leads readers to the conclusion that when we understand the science behind love, it is easier ...

Substance Abuse: The Power of Acceptance

The Power of AcceptanceAccepting reality enables us to live in reality. What does this mean? When life pleases us and flows in accordance with our needs and desires, we don’t think about acceptance. But when our will is frustrated or we’re hurt in some way, our displeasure ...

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month: Parents, It’s Time to Have ‘The Talk’

Talk Therapy Touted as First-Line Treatment for Youth with Psychosis RiskAttention, parents of tweens and teens: If you haven’t had “the talk,” it’s time. Kids need information about sex -- both its joys and its dangers -- from people they love and trust. However uncomfortable it may ...

Clinicians on the Couch: 10 Questions with Psychotherapist Susan Lager

Susan Lager In our monthly series, clinicians share slices from both their professional and personal lives. They reveal everything from what they love about being a therapist to how they cope with stress to their insights for leading a meaningful life. This month we’re pleased to interview Susan ...

I Love You — Now Change

I Love You -- Now ChangeThis is not the article you might have thought it was. This is not the one about the fact that people don’t change and why you’d better learn to just accept everything about your partner. No. This is about healthy requests ...