by Nicole Weaver
Wondering when you’ll feel like yourself again?
You’ve heard it a billion times: “Time heals all wounds.” But when you go through a bad breakup, you’re probably wondering, exactly how much time are we talking?
From losing your appetite to possibly having negative health affects, you’ll probably go through a lot of changes after a relationship ends. So, it’s only natural to want to know how long after a breakup we will start to feel like ourselves again.
by John Amodeo, PhD
When I read The Wisdom of Insecurity by the philosopher Alan Watts during college in the 1960s, it turned my world around. He hammered home a point that is as simple as it is startling: life only exists in the present moment. Rather than blindly pursue a happiness that continually eludes us, we need to open to what is here now.
As Watts puts it,
“If happiness always depends on something expected in the future, we are chasing a will-o’-the-wisp that ever eludes our grasp, until the future, and ourselves, vanish into the abyss of death.”
Very simple, very profound, but misleading?
by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Many people have stopped setting New Year’s resolutions. That’s because traditional resolutions can feel tedious, punitive, uninspiring and overwhelming. Instead, many individuals have started selecting one word to encapsulate the upcoming year.
“The power in claiming a word for the year is that it allows you to claim who you wish to be in the world rather than grounding your worth and well-being in what you do,” said Rosie Molinary, author of the book Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance.
by Samantha Rodman, PhD
Although I thought I was done after
Mr. Perfect and His Crazy Wife, The Ice Queen and the Martyr, and Mr. and Mrs. Just not Feeling it, I have realized that I have neglected the most common couple that I see in counseling: The Wife Who Wants More and Her Annoyingly Satisfied Husband.
The wife is a 40-something, attractive, intelligent woman with a tendency toward reading, some creative pursuits, and introspection. She has a lot of energy that she used in college, maybe grad school, and then raising her kids, and now her kids are in elementary school or older and much more self-sufficient. This leaves her with a lot more time to think.
by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Setting intentions as a couple is a boon to your relationship. “Having shared projects, shared goals and shared meaning increases [closeness],” said Kathy Nickerson, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships in Orange County, Calif.
It’s also “an opportunity to examine what’s gone right and what’s gone wrong in the previous year,” said Susan B. Saint-Rossy, MSW, LCSW, a psychotherapist who works with couples in Loudoun County, Virginia, near Washington, D.C.
The key is to set positive, concrete goals — elements that many couples unwittingly neglect.
by Alicia Sparks
Ah, the weekend after Christmas. Whether or not you celebrate, this Saturday has to be a relaxing time. What better way to decompress than to check out this week’s psychology news circulating the ‘net?
From effective communication to handling rejection, we have a great reading list for you today!
10 Rules You Need to Know to Communicate Effectively: Do you use small words and short sentences? Are you consistent and credible? These and other traits could help you better communicate with others.
Psychology: Why Boredom Is Bad…and Good for You: Although boredom is, well, boring, it can actually help shape important characteristics.
by Kathryn Goetzke
I was fortunate enough to be invited to speak on a panel at the United Nations on behalf of myself, my organization iFred, and a group I am working with called FundaMentalSDG. I’d recently been working with Lisa Nichols and Sandra Yancey on speaking my truth, and decided it was time to tell my story. My whole story.
It is my hope that in doing so, people are inspired to get treatment for their own mental health issues so they can go on to lead productive and fulfilling lives, and also that companies start funding programs so that more have access to treatment.
by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Many of us view uncertainty as the enemy. It makes us uncomfortable and fearful — especially if our expectations have painted only one picture. That is, we dread uncertainty when we’ve convinced ourselves that only one result will do. Only one thing will make us happy or feel fulfilled. Only one thing, one path will lead to our dream life.
This one thing may be a relationship, a home, a business venture, a big move. Or, as in Allison Carmen’s case, a specific law school.
by Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A.
As I write this, it’s Christmas morning. There’s a calmness and peace today. The sound of my son watching cartoons, the flood of sparkling gifts still unwrapped, the smell of something delicious being baked for a party. It’s the potential and hope of the present moment and it’s beautiful.
I’ve been thinking a lot about gifts. Some are so completely wrong, they’re humorous. Others have been painstakingly handpicked or handmade and give you goosebumps when you open them. Gifts are filled with wonder, fun and the power of intention. But they are not just the ones sitting unwrapped on holidays. It’s the gifts you’ve been given in your life.
Illness can give us a gift. Maybe it’s not the one we would have chosen. In fact, it could be something we wish we could return. And maybe the gift isn’t obvious. We’re not glad we got it. But maybe there’s something valuable in the struggle.
Gifts come in big and small, pretty and strange packages. Sometimes they can be a surprise. Sometimes we expected them. But I encourage you to see them all as gifts. The process of embracing them as if you chose them, may give us the best gift of all-acceptance.
by Anneli Rufus
If low self-esteem had a Constitution, its First Amendment would be: I hate myself.
Its Second Amendment would be: Everyone hates me.
Illogically, maddeningly, this Second Amendment haunts even the most introverted among us. Not that the Second Amendment of Low Self-Esteem causes introversion, but rather that naturally born loners who are unlucky enough to start loathing themselves often fall under the tragic enchantment of thinking themselves universally loathed — believing it so deeply as to turn their lives into aim-to-please performances.
by Peter Cashorali, LMFT
A lot of us are drawn to working with our dreams. Knowing where to start and how to go about it can be confusing. Here are some basic tools to help you with the process.
1. Tell yourself the whole dream. Tell yourself the dream from start to finish so that you have a sense of it as a complete narrative. Dreams sometime seem to open somewhere in the middle — things are already in process. Capture this information as fully as possible.
by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
I’d like to take this moment to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!
May the joy and peace of the season be with you and your family & friends. Whether you spend it on your own or with others, I hope you enjoy the day in peace, joy and happiness. Whether it be in celebration or solitude, I hope your Christmas will be a good one.
From our entire Psych Central family — the staff, writers, bloggers, editors, community volunteers, moderators and administrators — we wish you a wonderful and joyous Christmas. Peace.