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Around The World, Kindness Tops Qualities Sought In A Mate

A new UK study finds one of the top qualities we look for in a long-term partner is kindness. Researchers from Swansea University queried over 2,700 college students from across the globe to select the characteristics they would want in an ideal lifelong partner.

Investigators used a novel study method that entailed providing students with a “fixed” budget by which they could “buy” characteristics of an ideal mate. While traits like physical attractiveness and financial prospects were important, the one that was given the highest priority was kindness.

Study findings appears in the Journal of Personality.

The study compared the dating preferences of students from Eastern countries, for example Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong, and Western countries such as the UK, Norway and Australia.

Students were given eight attributes they could spend “mate dollars” on: physical attractiveness, good financial prospects, kindness, humor, chastity, religiosity, the desire for children, and creativity.

While there were some differences in behavior between Eastern and Western students, there were also some remarkable similarities.

People typically spent 22-26 percent of their total budget on kindness, and large parts of their budget on physical attractiveness and good financial prospects, while traits like creativity and chastity received less than 10 percent.

The research team also found some interesting sex differences; both Eastern and Western men allocated more of their budget to physical attractiveness than women (22% vs 16%) while women allocated more to good financial prospects than men (18% vs 12%).

The principal investigator, Dr. Andrew G. Thomas, believes studying mate preferences across cultures is important for understanding human behavior.

“Looking at very different culture groups allows us to test the idea that some behaviors are human universals.

“If men and women act in a similar way across the globe, then this adds weight to the idea that some behaviors develop in spite of culture rather than because of it.”

The results also showed a difference in a partner’s desire for children, which was a priority only for Western women.

“We think this may have something to do with family planning,” said Thomas. “In cultures where contraception is widespread, a partner’s desire for children may predict the likelihood of starting a family.

“In contrast, in cultures where contraception use is less widespread, having children may be a natural consequence of sex within a relationship, making actual desire for children less relevant.”

Source: Swansea University/EurekAlert

Around The World, Kindness Tops Qualities Sought In A Mate

Rick Nauert PhD

Rick Nauert, PhDDr. Rick Nauert has over 25 years experience in clinical, administrative and academic healthcare. He is currently an associate professor for Rocky Mountain University of Health Professionals doctoral program in health promotion and wellness. Dr. Nauert began his career as a clinical physical therapist and served as a regional manager for a publicly traded multidisciplinary rehabilitation agency for 12 years. He has masters degrees in health-fitness management and healthcare administration and a doctoral degree from The University of Texas at Austin focused on health care informatics, health administration, health education and health policy. His research efforts included the area of telehealth with a specialty in disease management.

APA Reference
Nauert PhD, R. (2019). Around The World, Kindness Tops Qualities Sought In A Mate. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 28 Sep 2019 (Originally: 29 Sep 2019)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 28 Sep 2019
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