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Study: Moms in Unhappy Relationships Spend More Time Talking to Baby Boys

New moms who are dissatisfied with their male partners spend more time talking to their infants — but only if the baby is a boy, according to a new U.K. study from the University of Cambridge.

The quality of a couple’s relationship is known to be related to the child’s later behavior and educational attainment in the school years, but few studies have focused on infant development in relation to parent-infant talk.

To investigate the link between the quality of a couple’s relationship and parent-infant talk, researchers from the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge observed 93 first-time, heterosexual parents and their interactions with their infants.

The researchers asked parents about the quality of their couple relationship and how satisfied they were and then gave the infants at age seven months a wearable ‘talk pedometer’ that recorded naturalistic parent-infant talk for a full day in which both parents were at home.

The team used software to provide an automated analysis of the frequency of adult spoken words to their infant and of parent-infant “conversations.”

After taking depression into account (because of its links with both couple relationship quality and parent-infant talk), the researchers found that the more dissatisfied a couple reported their relationship to be, the more the mother spoke to her infant.

Mothers who reported the quality of their relationship to be “low” used around 35% more words than a mother whose relationship was “average” and started around 20% more conversations. However, these effects were only found with infant sons, not daughters.

The researchers did not analyze the content of the mother-infant talk, so it is not possible to say whether the mother was complaining to her infant or talking positively.

“It’s possible that the mum is trying to compensate for the poor relationship she has with her partner by putting more time and effort into her relationship with her other close male social partner, her son,” said Dr. Elian Fink from the Centre for Family Research and the Faculty of Education.

“What is particularly interesting is that mums only seem to compensate when they have infant sons, not daughters. It could be that mothers view their daughters as mini versions of themselves rather than of their partners.”

Regardless of infant gender, fathers showed significantly less overall talk and initiated fewer conversations than did mothers, even though the fathers are increasingly becoming involved in parenting and the recordings were taken specifically on a day when both parents were at home. However, the amount that the dads spoke to their infants was unrelated to the quality of the couple’s relationship.

“Even when dads spend more time around their infants, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are interacting with them more,” said Fink. “One possible reason may be that there’s still an imbalance in who responds to the basic care needs of their infant.

“So, for example, if it’s the mother who still shoulders the burden of changing the nappy, this at least offers an opportune time to engage in direct communication with her infant.”

Fink hopes the findings will encourage parents to make a conscious effort to talk more to their infants, whether they are boys or girls.

“Parent-child interaction is important for a child’s development, with conversation playing a particular role for the child’s language development,” she said.

“Finding time to talk to children is very important. Using opportunities within the daily routine, such as mealtimes and bedtime, to have conversations with your child may help foster later child talk.”

The findings are published in the Journal of Family Psychology.

Source: University of Cambridge

Study: Moms in Unhappy Relationships Spend More Time Talking to Baby Boys

Traci Pedersen

Traci Pedersen is a professional writer with over a decade of experience. Her work consists of writing for both print and online publishers in a variety of genres including science chapter books, college and career articles, and elementary school curriculum.

APA Reference
Pedersen, T. (2019). Study: Moms in Unhappy Relationships Spend More Time Talking to Baby Boys. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 22 Sep 2019 (Originally: 22 Sep 2019)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 22 Sep 2019
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