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Parents Feel Unequipped and Uncomfortable Discussing Sex with LGBTQ Teens

Many Parents Feel Awkward Talking Sex with LGBTQ Teens

It’s hard enough for parents to talk to their kids about sex, but a new study shows that parents of LGBTQ children feel especially uncomfortable and unequipped when they try to educate them about sex and dating.

The study, from researchers at Northwestern University, examined parents’ attitudes toward talking about sexual health with their lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer teens (LGBTQ).

“Parents play an important role in helping their children learn how to have healthy sexual relationships, but they really struggle when discussing this with their LGBTQ teens,” said lead author Dr. Michael Newcombe, an assistant professor of medical social sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.

Parents in the study reported they face many challenges when trying to educate their LGBTQ children about sex. Some of the challenges include general discomfort with talking about sex with their children, as well as feeling unequipped to provide accurate advice about what constitutes safe LGBTQ sexual practices.

“My challenge around talking about sex is that I have no idea what sex is really like for men, especially for gay men,” commented one mother in an online focus group.

Another parent sent her bisexual daughter to a lesbian friend to talk to her about “gay sex.”

“I felt challenged that I’m straight, my daughter is dating a gal, and I didn’t know anything about that,” the mom said. “All my sex talks were about how not to get pregnant and how babies are conceived.”

One parent reported feeling isolated in handling sex talks with her gay child.

“I don’t have an opportunity to talk to other parents whose kids are LGBTQ,” she said.

“We need resources to help all parents — regardless of their child’s sexual orientation or gender identity — overcome the awkwardness and discomfort that can result from conversations about sexual health,” said Newcomb, associate director for scientific development at the Institute for Sexual and Gender Minority Health at Feinberg.

The study, which was published in the journal Sexuality Research and Social Policy, included 44 parents of LGBTQ teens between the ages of 13 and 17.

“Having a healthy and supportive relationship with parents is one of the strongest predictors of positive health outcomes in teens, and this is true of both heterosexual and LGBTQ teens,” Newcomb said. “Many parents and their LGBTQ teens want to have supportive relationships with one another, so if we can design programs to strengthen these relationships, it could have a tremendous impact on LGBTQ teens’ health and well being.”

The institute recently published a separate study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior focused on talking about sex from the perspective of gay or bisexual males between the ages of 14 and 17.

“We found that many of the gay and bisexual male youth in our study wanted to be closer to their parents and to be able to talk about sex and dating,” said lead author Dr. Brian Feinstein, a research assistant professor at the institute.

“However, most of them said that they rarely, if ever, talked to their parents about sex and dating, especially after coming out. And, even if they did talk about sex and dating with their parents, the conversations were brief and focused exclusively on HIV and condom use.”

“Research on family relationships is a high priority for us because it is an extremely understudied area, and parents are asking us for advice,” said Dr. Brian Mustanski, director of the Institute for Sexual and Gender Minority Health and a professor of medical social sciences at Feinberg. “We need new research to give these parents the right answers.”

Source: Northwestern University

Many Parents Feel Awkward Talking Sex with LGBTQ Teens

Janice Wood

Janice Wood is a long-time writer and editor who began working at a daily newspaper before graduating from college. She has worked at a variety of newspapers, magazines and websites, covering everything from aviation to finance to healthcare.

APA Reference
Wood, J. (2018). Many Parents Feel Awkward Talking Sex with LGBTQ Teens. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 29, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Aug 2018 (Originally: 9 Apr 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Aug 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.