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Friends Tend to Get a Pass on Their Behavior

Friends Tend to Get a Pass on Their Behavior A new study finds that objectivity is often lost when a friend judges another friend’s behavior.

Researchers found that people evaluate their friends’ behavior more positively than do strangers, regardless of actual performance on a series of tasks.

Because of this, investigators say that we should then think twice before allowing people who know each other to be in positions to judge each other — from job interviews to legal settings.

“In judging people we already know, we are more or less unable to ignore our previously established images of those people,” said Dr. Daniel Leising, a psychologist at the Technical University Dresden in Germany.

The study, published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, examines how real people evaluate the behavior of themselves, their friends, and strangers.

Psychologists know that people hold a number of biases when evaluating others, but most studies to date on this issue have used written descriptions of the behavior of hypothetical persons.

“This is one of the few studies that investigated judgments of people’s actual behavior,” Leising said.

Leising and colleagues recruited pairs of friends for the study, asking them first to describe each others’ personalities and then several days later, videotaped them participating in standardized, challenging situations in the lab.

The tasks ranged from answering general knowledge questions, such as “How high is Mount Everest?,” to a role-playing exercise in which participants had to call a “neighbor” (played by an actor) and demand that she turn down the volume on her stereo, to telling a joke of his or her own choice.

The participants, their friends, and strangers then evaluated the videotapes, each about 90 seconds long.

“This way, we could compare different views on the exact same behaviors with one another,” Leising said. “If different people watch the exact same videotapes but interpret them differently, then the different interpretations may not be rooted in what they just saw, but must be explained in terms of something else.”

The research team found that they could predict how participants would judge their friends’ behavior based on what they thought of them in advance, even before watching their videotaped behavior.

“By statistically controlling for strangers’ ratings of the same behavior, we could show that there are two kinds of systematic bias in such behavior judgments,” Leising said.

First, we judge the behavior of people we know in ways that are consistent with our general attitude toward them, so we attribute positive qualities to the behavior of people we like.

Also, we judge people we know to match our specific impressions of them: For example, if we think of someone as being generally talkative, we will judge that person to be more talkative in specific situations beyond what a stranger would see in the very same behavior.

“We really like to have our images of persons be consistent,” Leising said. “This is probably beneficial in terms of arriving at an overall image that is representative — for example, if the person’s behavior in a situation is very atypical, we could discount it as an exception and not let it influence our overall image of the person much.”

That representative image then allows us to predict people’s future behavior.

Additionally, he says that the tendency to idealize our friends might serve as a “social glue” that increases social cohesion. “In our evolutionary past, that probably constituted a major advantage in terms of survival.”

However, in some specific situations we are not able to objectively evaluate people we know, which could be problematic in some settings — such as a classroom.

“For example, a professor who considers his student to be highly intelligent will probably tend to overestimate that student’s performance in an oral exam,” he said.

“As long as all students are treated that way, it will be OK. But the more likely case is that the professor will not have identical images of all of his students and judge them accordingly.”

Conducting anonymous assessments is preferable when possible, as well as ensuring that performances are assessed by people who have no prior acquaintance with those they are judging.

While the new study asked participants to make their judgments using everyday terms and language, Leising would like to see future such studies examine more factual qualities of behavior – for example, in eyewitness testimony, asking which person was the first to physically attack the other person.

He also would like to see future work explore more negative attributes. But recruiting people who know but do not like each other is a research challenge.

“We’re still working on ways to overcome that difficulty,” Leising said.

“Including critical informants in future studies is important, because the social world we inhabit often comprises not only friends, but also foes. In my view, that aspect is yet insufficiently represented in present-day personality research.”

Source: Society for Personality and Social Psychology

Professor and student talking photo by shutterstock.

Friends Tend to Get a Pass on Their Behavior

Rick Nauert PhD

Rick Nauert, PhDDr. Rick Nauert has over 25 years experience in clinical, administrative and academic healthcare. He is currently an associate professor for Rocky Mountain University of Health Professionals doctoral program in health promotion and wellness. Dr. Nauert began his career as a clinical physical therapist and served as a regional manager for a publicly traded multidisciplinary rehabilitation agency for 12 years. He has masters degrees in health-fitness management and healthcare administration and a doctoral degree from The University of Texas at Austin focused on health care informatics, health administration, health education and health policy. His research efforts included the area of telehealth with a specialty in disease management.

APA Reference
Nauert PhD, R. (2018). Friends Tend to Get a Pass on Their Behavior. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 26, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Aug 2018 (Originally: 10 Oct 2013)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Aug 2018
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