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Evolution May Explain Why Parents, Kids Clash Over Mate Choice

Evolution May Explain Why Parents, Kids Clash Over Mate ChoiceEven in the 21st century it is common for parents to influence the choice of a partner — from arranged marriages to more subtle forms of persuasion. But parental views often conflict with that of their children.

A new study suggests that the parental desire to control who their children pair up with is actually an evolutionary trait.

As found in the journal Evolution & Human Behavior, a University of Bristol researcher shows that this conflict over mate choice may be rooted in an evolutionary conflict over resources.

Tim Fawcett, Ph.D., teamed up with scientists at the University of Groningen to investigate how the mate preferences of parents and children co-evolve.

They found that parents tend to give more resources to children whose partners provide less support, and that this leads to a conflict over mate choice.

In order to investigate this issue, team built a computer model to simulate the evolution of parental behavior when their daughter is searching for a partner.

The model shows that, typically, parents should prefer a son-in-law who is more caring and supportive than their daughter would otherwise choose.

Fawcett said: “The conflict over parental resources is central to understanding why parents and children disagree in mate choice.”

The model predicts that, when parents distribute resources equally among their children, their mate preferences should coincide exactly. But when parents contribute more to children whose partners invest less, a conflict arises.

“Parents are equally related to all of their children, whereas children value themselves more than their siblings,” Fawcett said. “So each child wants to get more than their fair share of parental resources.”

This means that the children are willing to settle for a mate who is less caring than their parents would ideally like.

The new theory, if correct, sheds light on an intriguing aspect of human behavior and may help to explain patterns of variation across cultures.

Piet van den Berg, lead author on the study, said: “Our model predicts that the conflict will be stronger when fathers rather than mothers control resources, but this remains to be tested.”

In future work, the scientists plan to investigate preferences for different aspects of quality.

“Surveys show that children tend to place more importance on physical attractiveness, smell and sense of humor, whereas parents care more about social class and family background,” said van den Berg.

“We don’t yet understand the reason for this difference, but it probably has something to do with our evolutionary history.”

Source: University of Bristol

Obey your parents sign photo by shutterstock.

Evolution May Explain Why Parents, Kids Clash Over Mate Choice

Rick Nauert PhD

Rick Nauert, PhDDr. Rick Nauert has over 25 years experience in clinical, administrative and academic healthcare. He is currently an associate professor for Rocky Mountain University of Health Professionals doctoral program in health promotion and wellness. Dr. Nauert began his career as a clinical physical therapist and served as a regional manager for a publicly traded multidisciplinary rehabilitation agency for 12 years. He has masters degrees in health-fitness management and healthcare administration and a doctoral degree from The University of Texas at Austin focused on health care informatics, health administration, health education and health policy. His research efforts included the area of telehealth with a specialty in disease management.

APA Reference
Nauert PhD, R. (2018). Evolution May Explain Why Parents, Kids Clash Over Mate Choice. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Aug 2018 (Originally: 20 Sep 2013)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Aug 2018
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