Online Dating: It’s for Old Folks
A new national survey of over 3,000 adults with romantic partners suggests the Internet has now overtaken all the ways people meet, with the exception of through their friends.
Alicia Cast, a Iowa State University associate professor of sociology, has been studying online dating for over three years and has found that it’s the older adults who are actually turning to their computers to find love — largely because of the time constraints in their busy lives.
In a preliminary analysis presented at the Midwest Sociological Society’s annual meeting, Cast’s research team reported that online subjects didn’t differ significantly from offline couples in terms of self-esteem levels, attractiveness, intelligence and other personal characteristics. But they had structural constraints that set them apart.
“In many cases, there are some real structural forces that encourage the support and use of these technologies,” said Cast.
“And one of them is just structural constraints on people’s time — such as people who have kids, or have full-time jobs, or work long or extensive hours. They might also be older and the majority of people who are in their pool of eligibles are already in relationships.”
Researchers found that spouses who met online are older, less likely to be marrying for the first time, and have much shorter courtships — averaging 18.5 months of dating before getting married by comparison to 42 months for those who met in more traditional ways offline.
“There’s an interesting contradiction there because the people who look online may not be perceived as being serious [by friends and family],” Cast said.
“But the people who are doing the actual searching may look at it as a way to be incredibly serious about the process. And one of the things we found was that, indeed, their courtship periods are shorter.”
“My understanding is that there are very few studies that have been able to simultaneously get access to a source of couples who meet through more conventional means, along with those who choose to meet people online,” she said.
While her new research has found that people are using online means to find love, a previous study Cast conducted with ISU associate professor of sociology David Schweingruber suggests that a traditional proposal may have the most powerful impact when a couple decides to get married.
Their study of 2,174 Midwestern university students on audience judgments about engagement proposals (published Sept. 29, 2007 in the journal Sex Roles) found that using traditional proposal elements — making the proposal on one’s knee with an engagement ring — still sends the most positive messages about the strength of the couple’s relationship to their family and friends.
“Taking to one’s knee is still the gold standard, and so is a diamond [among the perceptions of friends and family],” Cast said.
“Most couples know what’s going to happen and so issues of sizing rings and those kinds of things are largely done behind the scenes. But if you have a partner who doesn’t do that and surprises you, then there is this kind of public evaluation where it’s not considered serious until you show them the ring.”
The study also found that both men and women and older and younger individuals were likely to evaluate relationships based on their conformity to traditional proposal scripts.
Source: Iowa State University
Nauert PhD, R. (2018). Online Dating: It’s for Old Folks. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 27, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/news/2010/02/16/online-dating-its-for-old-folks/11488.html