Tips for Coping With Your Angry Behavior
Of all personality factors, hostility and anger have been most highly correlated with coronary heart disease and other physical and behavioral stress problems. In fact, a medium to high level of anger is the strongest behavioral predictor of early illness and death.
Anger is typically an attempt to control others to meet your needs. It often results from frustration, particularly when you do not get what you want or expect from life or others.
People can express anger either directly through “lashing out,” or indirectly through passive-aggressive behavior. People who are passive aggressive block and thwart others by such techniques as acting belligerent, pouting, not responding, or simply disappearing for periods of time when others need them. Both types of anger can have serious negative effects on one’s health and social relations.
6 Ways to Better Help With Anger
Flow With Fear
Fear lurks behind anger. Most often, the fear stems from a feeling of lack of control of oneself or others. Conquering this fear begins with the process of learning how to flow with your fears.
When you feel that you are losing control of a situation, consciously recognize what your fear is and, if possible, allow yourself to flow with it. To flow means to accept your fear instead of fighting it. By acknowledging what you are afraid of, you’ll be able to reduce your anxiety.
Work on self-esteem
Positive and healthy self-esteem is vital to controlling anger. You can improve your self-esteem by looking at your positive attributes rather than dwelling on your flaws.
Practice “letting go”
A “letting go” attitude is the key to freeing yourself from excessive anger. Not always having to be in control is a valuable skill that our culture does not teach. Being able to “let go” is the best buffer against excessive anger. For example, when you become aware of your anger, say to yourself:
“I can let go and it’s okay. Letting go does not mean I’m out of control.”