I have now been on roughly a month’s worth of Match.com dates. None of them was completely awful, but some were definitely better than others.
Date One: The Liquid Hater
I started with a man I am calling the “Liquid Hater.” This is a man who not only does not drink alcohol, but he dislikes drinking liquids in general. I knew this before I went out with him and I thought it was really odd. However, I didn’t see it as a reason not to meet this man at all.
I met the Liquid Hater at a coffee shop by my house. Of course the liquid hater does not drink coffee, but if you are not meeting someone at a bar or a coffeehouse, where are you supposed to meet them for the first time? It’s not like you want a stranger coming to your house and if the weather is bad, you can’t hang around outside.
The evening started out poorly when I ordered a pot of tea and the liquid hater bought himself a bottle of water. At a coffeehouse with dozens of different teas, coffees, sodas, and iced beverages, who orders water? Duh, someone who hates beverages. This ordering choice led to me asking many questions about his likes and dislikes. It turned out that the Liquid Hater did like juice, but wouldn’t let himself drink it because it has too much sugar. Occasionally, the Liquid Hater enjoys a milkshake, but that’s pushing it. As the Liquid Hater was explaining his sensitivities to caffeine, I ventured a guess. I asked him, “you don’t like to take medicine either, do you?” The answer was no, he does not like to take medicine.
It turns out that although he was very nice, this man was wholesome to the core. He did not drink alcohol, disliked medicine, and disdained caffeine. I quite enjoy alcohol and caffeine, and have no aversion to taking medicine when I need to. At this point, I became a bit of a jerk and started asking questions I already knew the answers to. As I suspected, the Liquid Hater had never even smoked a cigarette and was uncomfortable in bars. As nice as this man was, I cut this date as short as possible. The Liquid Hater wigged me out a bit.
Date Two: Barry One
The day I was supposed to go out with Barry One, the weather was predicted to be sunny and warm. We decided we would grab a coffee and go for a walk.
I was running late to meet Barry One and made him stand around and wait for me for 15 minutes. When I finally got to the coffeeshop, he had a beverage in his hand. This made me sigh in relief a bit. Barry One was not a freak about beverages.