Therapists Spill: How To Strengthen Your Resilience
According to Jeffrey Sumber, M.A., a psychotherapist, author and teacher, resilience is linked to acceptance. “When I accept that things, people and emotions come and go, it allows me to bend like the reed in the wind, and I am a part of the world not a person whom the world is acting upon.” This is the opposite of believing that the world is a bad place that does bad things to you, he said.
Acceptance helps you stay in the present, Marter said. This helps you separate from your ego and fear and “operate from your authentic self, or essence. When you connect with your essence, you are connected with a power greater than yourself.” Your higher power may be God, “the universe, nature or the life force that connects us all.”
Know your strengths.
Sometimes, we make tough times even tougher by questioning whether we have the strength to manage these stressors, Duffy said. But “you can have a slew of weaknesses that a few marked, acknowledged strengths can overcome.”
The key is to know your strengths. Then, “you can lean into them during [difficult] times, whether they be slight or profound.” Knowing your strengths gives you the faith and confidence to endure hard times, he said.
Understand that failure also is key.
Howes worked with a man who was terrified of rejection, particularly when making friends at his new college. So he created a goal to ask someone to coffee every day for 14 days.