After the fish oil experience, I left therapy for another couple years. I didn’t think about it again until I found myself in a long-term funk that I just couldn’t shake. This time I asked my primary care physician for a recommendation.
My PCP gave me two therapists’ names and I called both. The first had openings and was happy to see me. The second said his schedule was full and he wasn’t accepting new clients. An easy decision the first therapist won.
I found that this therapist also had a home office. It didn’t smell strange and had an entrance that was separate from his home, so I felt okay about it.
From the first few sessions, it was evident that this was not a good match between therapist and client. We didn’t communicate easily and I didn’t take to his very serious style. After a few sessions he stamped me with the diagnosis of “bored.” Seriously? I go to the therapist and he tells me that my problem is that I’m simply bored? I began to dread going to our sessions and soon quit.
I was once again a therapy quitter.
It was at this time that I got a call from the second therapist my primary care doctor had recommended. He said that he had openings and could see me if I was still interested. I was still in my funk, so I made an appointment.
In one session, I could instantly see that this therapist’s style was better than the one who pronounced me as “bored.” He was easier to talk to and didn’t come off like a walking textbook. I told him how I’d felt about all my previous therapists and we decided that if I ever felt that way about him, there was no harm done and I would move on. I decided to make a second appointment.
A few days later I got a call from the new therapist. He explained that there had been a problem with my health insurance and he could not accept it. There went my hopes for that therapist. Rather than look for yet another one, I gave up for a while.
Around a year after that, I started a new job and got different health insurance. Things in my life were tumultuous at that point and I decided to call the therapist I had liked and check if he would take my new insurance. He could.
I thought that I would go to this therapist until I got through the crappy time I was going through, then stop going. He helped me get through some things that were going on in my life and when I started to feel better, I got ready to quit therapy. Again. Then I got laid off.
The layoff sent me into all kinds of new turmoil and kept me going to sessions. The therapist helped me determine that my jobs were a big source of my continued unhappiness. I would take a job just to have one, then be unsatisfied with my new position. This would then bleed into the rest of my life.
He convinced me that it was okay to take a different career path. A path that would make me happier and give me satisfaction. This is now something I am trying out and although it’s scary, I feel better than I have in a long time. I still see this therapist every week.
My route to therapy feeling right for me took around 10 years. It was difficult to find the right therapist and realize that therapy isn’t merely a quick fix. This time, I’m a believer and am in it for the long haul.