How does one explain? Where does one begin? One beginning is inevitably another ending. And so it goes.

 I am sad. I am not depressed, clinically or otherwise, but I am truly, deeply, and intensely sad. I am sad because of a loss experienced. I don’t want to get into the messy details, because they are not important here.

 I am just sad. I am just plain sad. And I am not going to worry about it right now. I am just going to revel in the feeling.

 Sadness is an okay emotion. It’s an alright feeling to have. I think without it, I wouldn’t be human. I wouldn’t have the rich experiences of life I’ve had. I don’t look forward to the sad times, I don’t ask for them. But I accept them nonetheless. Why rail against things you can’t change? Why rail against the unknown?

 I don’t know. I don’t understand. That bothers me, makes me upset. But I also know that sometimes, life doesn’t have simple answers to questions we ask. Maybe never has those answers. Can be a very frustrating experience. I’ll accept that for a while, but I also know I can’t change it.

 On top of it, I’m alone. I’m in a stranger in a strange land. I’m thousands of miles away from my family, and have no friends to speak of here yet. That’s okay too. I know that’ll change in time, as I get to know people, hang out with them more. Enjoy the experience.

 It’s all a part of life. It’s painful, unexpected. But I guess we have to take the bad with the good, or what’s the point? I hate it as much as the next person, but I guess I accept it. What choice is there, really?

John signature