I had an affair a few years ago, and strongly feel the need to prove to my husband that I am being faithful. I’m not sure why I had this dream; but I woke up feeling a little sad and confused, though a little bit stronger. We’ve been in a position like the dream several times, and I have always continued to defend my actions and where I was. I do this because I believe he has every right to wonder where I am and what I’m doing because I deceived him. I am, however, somewhat tired of defending my every move.
In my dream, I was in high school, but working for the same company I am today. I took the day off to go to school. While I was there, my drama team was having a rehearsal for a dance program they were putting on. My drama coach told me I was up next to perform. I had no idea what I was supposed to do or what music was to be playing.
They began to play the music and I choreographed as I went on. The next day, the same thing: They played the same music and I did the same routine. Finally, on the third day, I couldn’t remember the steps. I managed to get through it. My friends were supportive of my efforts.
When I returned to work, my husband (who in the dream also works in my office) was in my office with the door shut. I assumed he was in a meeting and went to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he was banging on the door asking me where the hell I was. I told him I was at drama practice. He said I was lying and that Susie said I was at Lamar (our high school rival team) with them and he didn’t like where I was standing on the street after they returned to the school.
I swore I was at the school, but he didn’t believe me. I said “F___ you” to him and walked away, believing in my heart that if he loved me he would believe me and that life with someone always distrusting you isn’t worth making the effort. Then I woke up.
— stephanie, age 32, married, female, El Paso, TX
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re not being allowed to grow up?