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Helping Your Child Transition from Elementary to Middle School

Helping Your Child Transition from Elementary to Middle SchoolSixth grade graduation in my community is a big deal. At each elementary school, the kids put on a play, sing songs, and even walk across a stage to get a certificate and a handshake from the principal. It’s an event that marks the end of a chapter in their school lives.

For seven years, from kindergarten through sixth grade, they’ve walked through the same halls and lived by the same rules with pretty much the same kids around them. In the final year, they’ve been the “big kids” of the school, assisting as reading buddies for the kindergarteners and serving as role models for all of the younger students. Now it’s on to middle school. Now it’s on to being a preteen.

Early in my career, I taught English in what was then known as junior high. I’d watch those new seventh graders enter each year with their new backpacks and scared faces. They looked sooo young compared to the ninth graders who were the bosses of the school.

They’d often get lost trying to find their classes in a much bigger school. They’d get confused by a rotating schedule of classes. They’d forget how to find their lockers. Since four elementary schools converged in one middle school, they had to reestablish their friend groups and find new people to share a table with in the lunchroom. They had to get used to having four or five or more teachers instead of one or two. And they had to learn how to take homework much, much more seriously. No wonder they looked scared. No wonder the absence rate in the first few weeks was sky high.

Parents can do a great deal to help with the transition. When kids enter a new environment with some sense of what to expect, they are more likely to be successful and less likely to be overwhelmed. Help your child manage by taking some steps before school starts.

Getting Comfortable

  • Visit the new school. Help your child figure out the layout. Some schools are organized with each grade being in a different section of the school. Others are organized by department with the English department in corridor A and the math department in corridor B. Still others are organized by “teams” of teachers working together with a set group of students in a block of classrooms.Find out how the school is organized. Then see if you can get a tour with an older student or school personnel. Walk around until your child has a sense of where to find classes, the library, the gym, and the cafeteria. Remind him that it will look different when there are hundreds of kids crowding the halls.
  • See if your student can meet some of her teachers or the guidance counselor. Often staff are setting up classrooms in the weeks before school starts. Most are happy to take a couple of minutes to shake hands and say hello. Don’t overstay your welcome. These people have a lot to do. But just knowing what a few teachers look like can make your student feel more comfortable.
  • Clothes. Yes, clothes. For a middle schooler, the idea of going to school looking decidedly uncool is terrifying. Help your child think about how he wants to present himself that first day. That doesn’t mean that you need to spend a lot of money on new clothes. It does mean looking together at what your child has and what he needs to feel self-confident. Check out back to school sales. But also remember that “Sal’s Boutique” (the local Salvation Army store), thrift shops, and yard sales can be treasure troves of fashion.
  • Mornings. Ugh. Most middle schools start far earlier than elementary school. Two weeks before school starts, get everyone used to going to bed and getting up earlier. It’s a huge adjustment for some families. But a tired kid isn’t going to do well in school. Set up a healthy sleep routine from the start.
Helping Your Child Transition from Elementary to Middle School

Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.

Marie Hartwell-WalkerDr. Marie Hartwell-Walker is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. She writes regularly for Psych Central as well as Psych Central's Ask the Therapist feature. She is author of the insightful parenting e-book, Tending the Family Heart.

Check out her book, Unlocking the Secrets of Self-Esteem.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, M. (2018). Helping Your Child Transition from Elementary to Middle School. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Oct 2018 (Originally: 17 May 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Oct 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.