An interesting phenomenon for psychological exploration among human beings is the combination of potential factors that motivate people to keep others in their surroundings perpetually happy and complacent.
Basic psychological theories, in one way or another, reveal that we possess a passionate love for ourselves1. We tend to see our reflections in others’ eyes. In doing so, we try to adhere with relations, where we see positive aspects of ourselves. We are tempted to make relations, which give us self-strength, boost our self-esteem and give us positive feedback 2. Positive relationships are just like ladders, which promote you and fill in personal deficits. We make an effort to climb this ladder seeing ourselves inflated with happiness and serenity 3. We improve through our positive relationships.
Foundation of Self-Structure and Related Associations
Every person has bi-directional terms with this world. One we hold with others and another connection which we have with ourself 4. It is a very paradoxical term to understand. The quality of the relationship with self is a direct measure of our relationships with the outer world. It is a measure of our tranquility and harmony within, which determines our behaviors towards others. The constant state of whining, complaining and apprehension is a direct reflection of our “intra-self relationship”.
In childhood, we often shape our personality structures by taking in personas of our parental figures to form the superego (which guides us towards right and wrong) 5. On the other hand, we are also bestowed with the “id” by nature. Between environment and innate opportunities we have to devise our own ways, called the ego 6. Ego is a state, which decides between two major powers that are super-ego (derivative of parental ideals and principles) and id (innate animalistic priorities) 7.
Measure of Ego Strength
When we have strong ego boundaries, it means that we know where we stand in context of different relationships 8. It denotes our clear understanding regarding self-strengths and weaknesses. It acts as a determinant to know the fundamentals of one’s personality and it manifests as “enhanced self-awareness” 9. However, a deprived childhood, parental discord or an early loss or death of any parental figure can lead to many problems in personality architecture.
One of the basic deformities would be a formation of impaired personal identity 10. The vague awareness regarding self can produce an urge to know more about the self. Here we come to the point, in these cases relationships provide us an enriched experience, so that we can see ourselves, we can know our identities, and we can validate our existence through others 11.
These relationships build us. The frequency of positive experiences or relationships gives us reassurance and reinforces positive healthy capabilities. Contrary to this, negative experiences and relationships thwart our growth as a person, it hinders our capacity to flourish, shine or progress 12.
Social Impact of Poor Self-Awareness
Throughout our life spans, we try to fill in frustrating gaps in order to keep pace with the impaired intersection of the harsh super-ego, poor ego functions and id. It is a universal phenomenon of human passion that we tend to repair the injured self-images and self-esteem. And this goes on for life.