Committed Boyfriend World, to Match.com Land, to Single and Happy
Somehow, I became the girl who almost always had a boyfriend. They weren’t always the greatest boyfriends, and I wasn’t always happy with the one I had at the time, but I was just about always with someone. I’m not sure how this happened.
This changed last December, when my live-in boyfriend turned to me one seemingly uneventful, South Park on the couch night, and said, “Stacey, I can’t marry you.” I found this shocking. We hadn’t been talking about getting married. Us getting married was a nebulous, it’ll-happen-someday, sort of thing. He apparently didn’t see it that way anymore.
The couple months after that were extremely difficult. We lived together for two weeks after we broke up, then he moved out. Another six weeks later, I moved out too. I walked out of the apartment that had been our home and walked into a much different life.
I found a therapist and began trudging through getting over the breakup. Therapy turned out to be a magical thing. I realized the relationship had been the wrong one for me. This realization made the getting-over-it process much faster. I became excited about meeting new people.
Single and Ready for Dating
Once I had come to grips with my new single status was ready to date again, I didn’t know how to meet these new and exciting men. My friend Susan had been using match.com for a couple years. She had had luck with it and hadn’t met any freaky stalker types. I gave it some thought, then decided to give it a try.
One frigid February morning, I sat in front of my computer and began setting up my profile. This would be my dating home page. I had to upload photos and answer standard check-list questions about my age, income, religion, and drinking & smoking habits. Those were the easy ones.
It was when I had to answer free-form questions that I began to get upset. My mind raced with thoughts like, ‘How did I get here?’ — I was physically sick twice. How had I become single and what was I doing filling out an online dating profile? Was I ready for this?