A social recluse is a person who avoids other people. Some simply prefer to be alone, while others miss work or school because they feel unable to leave their homes.
Humans are wired for social contact. Social support has tangible benefits, including reducing the impact of many physical and mental health conditions.
Social isolation has the opposite effect and may even negatively impact a person’s life span.
If you or someone you know regularly avoids social contact, it can have a measurable effect on your well-being to examine ways to reach out to other people.
A social recluse is someone who persistently avoids contact with other people.
Social withdrawal isn’t the same as taking some time for yourself away from your busy life. If you find yourself wanting some alone time to destress, reflect, and relax, this doesn’t mean you’ve become a social recluse.
The Japanese term for social recluse is “hikikomori.” Once believed to occur only in Japan, hikikomori is now recognized as an
Repeated and persistent avoidance of communication and social situations is a sign that a person is experiencing reclusive behavior.
Examples include:
- ignoring phone calls or text messages
- repeatedly declining invitations
- skipping previously attended events like classes or team sports games
- increasing absenteeism from work
People living with conditions like schizoid personality disorder or avoidant personality disorder often exhibit signs of reclusive behavior which include:
- significant social withdrawal
- isolation
- discomfort from social interactions
- social anxiety
This doesn’t mean that a person living in social withdrawal also lives with a type of mental illness, although the two sometimes occur together.
Hikikomori signs include at least
- social contact
- friendships
- education
- employment
There are a variety of factors that may lead to social withdrawal, such as:
- fearing potential rejection
- experiencing fear or vulnerability around others
- living with shame or anxiety
- disliking society and cultural norms
These factors may become more pronounced as social withdrawal increases a person’s loneliness and isolation, making it an increasingly difficult situation to emerge from.
Personality type may also play a role in whether a person is a social recluse. A
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Trauma examples include:
- parental dysfunction or divorce
- ambivalent attachment between parent and child
- peer rejection at school
- emotional insults
- emotional disturbance of people close to them
- neglect
- unexpected death or life threatening injury of someone close to them
Reclusive behaviors can also occur as the result of mental health issues, such as:
Pervasive developmental disorders such as
A 2019 study found that avoidant personality disorder is the most commonly co-occurring condition with hikikomori.
Social anxiety disorder may also be connected to social withdrawal. While social anxiety disorder and hikikomori are distinct conditions, they co-occur about 18% to 19% of the time.
People entrenched in social withdrawal tend to stay that way without outside intervention. Only about
If someone you know shows signs of reclusive behaviors, you may be able to connect with them and help them take steps to rejoin society.
Take the lead in contacting them
Since a socially reclusive person isn’t likely to reach out, it can help if you’re willing to be the person who initiates contact.
Consider making an effort to connect while still respecting the other person’s boundaries. This may be done by offering a listening ear, performing a wellness check, or suggesting that you participate in a shared interest.
Offer resources for therapy
Extreme social withdrawal often co-occurs with a mental health issue or as the result of trauma. Helping a social recluse find the right fit therapy may be effective at addressing these underlying issues.
Even when there is no co-occurring mental health issue, a therapist can work with a reclusive person to examine the reason they self-isolate. They can also teach them strategies for reaching out to other people.
When family conflict or dysfunctional dynamics underlie a person’s social recluse inclinations, family therapy or mediation can support communication and healing between all involved parties.
A 2023 review listed several therapy options for hikikomori:
- exercise therapy
- family education with role play, community reinforcement, and homework
- cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) using music
- role play therapy with fictional narratives about empathy, relaxation, anxiety, and depression
- animal assisted therapy
- group therapy with identity development interventions
Regardless of the modality they choose, time spent with a trained mental health professional may offer the support a social recluse needs.
Engage in recreational activities
Involvement in certain sports may also help to ease a person out of social reclusiveness.
A 2023 review of two case reports found that structured activities introduced social contact in a non-triggering way while giving participants the chance to connect. This included workouts such as walking, badminton, and tennis.
An older
Provide academic support
Sometimes pressure at school can drive a person into isolation. If you think this may be the case for the person you’d like to help, arranging academic support may be helpful.
Encouraging a more balanced approach to life away from the rigors of academic pursuits, along with recognizing alternative forms of personal success, can lift the pressure off the shoulders of the isolated person.
Social isolation can have measurable impacts on a person’s well-being. Finding ways and motivations to increase social contact can be beneficial.
People withdraw from society for a variety of reasons, such as personality type or history of trauma. Mental health issues can also contribute to social withdrawal.
There are ways you may be able to help someone living with social withdrawal. Even checking in with them on a regular basis can help.