Deconstructing Kaycee

Debbie's Letter

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The email Debbie (the mother) sent to explain Kaycee:

"Her name was not Kaycee and she was not my daughter, but I loved her as if she had been. And I grieve her loss.

The blog was about the lives of three people who suffered, one with breast cancer, one with leukemia, and one with Liver cancer. Each were strong, vibrant, and loving individuals. Each were real. Each died much too soon.

I am to blame for wanting to tell their stories. I am to blame for weaving the lives of all three together. I chose to share their voices as one rather than three separately. I wrote their thoughts, their humorous sides, their struggles, their fears.

If you knew each of them do not for a minute doubt you knew the real person. It is only within these blogs that I tried to convey their silent voices.

I alone bear the shame for what I have done, but it was not done for any reason other than sharing the love for life they gave to those they loved.

I would like to clear up some falsehoods that have been spread around: there was never a paypal account, there was never an amazon wish list, if donations were made they were not made to me or any other person, if anyone asked you to contribute to a trip, or a fund of any kind it did not derive from this blog.

Randy (bwg) only posted what I sent to be posted, so I am the only person who is to blame.

If you sent something it was passed on to the appropriate family.

My intentions were good, but that does not begin to excuse me for what I have done. My only desire was to share their triumphs and tragedies in a way that showed their strength, the strength of their families. Those were not false. What they went through was real, I felt a great need to tell the stories of three courageous people who wanted nothing but to be well and live happily into their prime.

What I did was wrong and I apologise for it. I regret any pain I caused but I do not regret putting their thoughts out to be read.

There were more and deeper parts to their lives, I did them a grave disservice.

I carry the shame for my actions. The last thing I would like to say is I'm sorry.

The real *Kaycee* is the true author to her poetry. It was her nickname and she was the last of the truly beautiful who those of you read grew to love.

I was not her birth mother but I loved her with all my heart. "

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 3 Oct 2005
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