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Why Does eHarmony Reject People?

Now, far be it from me to tell someone how to run their company, but with the amount of commercials on the TV these days, you can’t help but wonder what eHarmony is thinking. I guess it wouldn’t be such a big deal if eHarmony was honest in their marketing — that they are a dating service with a decidedly Christian bent. But they don’t mention that in their marketing.

Instead, eHarmony, through its television commercials and website, emphasizes its science and objectivity — its so-called “Compatibility Matching System.” What is the point of such supposed science if, at the end of your compatibility matching system, you throw in some random subjective component — such as if the person is gay or not — and simply reject them as incompatible with the eHarmony service? (For more details about eHarmony’s background, this USA Today article is a good start.)

Good and well-designed matchmaking science would never throw out anyone, much less the over 1 million people eHarmony has rejected. Because in all the diversity of the world, there is always someone for someone else. That would be one of the points of an online dating service — to match people who ordinarily might not have the easiest time dating.

If eHarmony marketed itself as “The Christian Dating Service,” I’d have no objections. But to pretend to be interested in the science of matchmaking and then to reject that science if someone enrolls isn’t Christian-like enough is a little dishonest and underhanded in my book.

Why Does eHarmony Reject People?

John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

Dr. John Grohol is the founder & CEO of Psych Central. He is an author, researcher and expert in mental health online, and has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues -- as well as the intersection of technology and human behavior -- since 1992. Dr. Grohol sits on the editorial board of the journal Computers in Human Behavior and is a founding board member and treasurer of the Society for Participatory Medicine. He writes regularly and extensively on mental health concerns, the intersection of technology and psychology, and advocating for greater acceptance of the importance and value of mental health in today's society. You can learn more about Dr. John Grohol here.

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APA Reference
Grohol, J. (2018). Why Does eHarmony Reject People?. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 25, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Jul 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Jul 2018
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