The best indicator you have of how someone will treat you is how they treat other people.
Looking at your relationships in these terms can make for some unpleasant insights. You know that friend you have who says nasty things about other people behind their backs?
Well, yes, chances are you aren’t special — he or she is probably saying the same kinds of things about you when you aren’t around to hear.
The same is true when it comes to lying. If someone lies to other people on a regular basis, it’s a good bet that he or she isn’t making an exception for you.
Coming back to this rule that how someone treats other people predicts how they will treat you can help you ask the right questions about your relationships.
Say you suspect your significant other is lying to you. This can be a confusing situation, because more often than not you’ll have an intuition but no hard proof. So you go through stages of overanalyzing, doubting yourself, replaying things in your head, trying to figure out if this person is really acting deceptively or if you’re just imagining it.
But if you zoom out to the big picture, you don’t necessarily even have to answer the question of whether he or she is lying to you in this particular instance. Rather, you can get to the heart of things by asking a more essential question: do I trust this person?
When you look at the way he or she treats other people, you might find a pattern of deceptive behavior and realize that this is partly what set your intuition off in the first place. You don’t really have to answer the question of is my partner lying to me? if you already know that you can’t trust him or her not to.
In this video, Psych Central’s Ask the Therapists point out that sometimes when you ask a question, you already have your answer. For their discussion on how to make sense of things when you suspect your boyfriend or girlfriend is lying to you, watch the video below: