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The 4 Secret Ingredients for a Truly Happy Life


Be sure you have what it takes to cook up your own delicious life.

Although the definition of “a truly happy life” is relative, we all want it. Does truly happy ever seem like a far-fetched thought, or a rigged carnival game that keeps you striving for an unattainable prize? Maybe you just get one area of your life smoothed out and another area starts to wobble. It can be a constant battle and that’s not how anyone wants to live.

Here’s the deal… happiness is a recipe and you’re simply missing some key ingredients.

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You will likely see a pattern as to why happiness has been eluding you and how to grab it and make it yours.

Secret Ingredient #1: Healthy Boundaries That Must Be Enforced

You can have all the healthy boundaries you want but until you enforce them, they won’t help you. In fact, they will cause you to feel worse as they get trampled.

You have to know what you are going to say and/or do when someone steps over the line or gets in your space…before it happens. And you must be willing to ruffle a few feathers or lose a few frenemies in the process. Toxic friends and family are not part of the truly happy life puzzle, and healthy boundaries a good way to find out who has your back and who doesn’t.

Secret Ingredient #2: Self-Confidence to Enforce Boundaries

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You have to be able to stand up for yourself to be treated the way you want, or you will never be truly happy.

You may know you are great at your job, or rocking your parenting skills, and that’s great. Those are what I call conditional confidence. Self-confidence is different. It’s a solid belief in yourself, regardless of circumstance, including what others think or say. If you don’t have that sturdy foundation, you won’t uphold the boundaries you set.

In fact, chances are, you will violate them first by inviting the wrong people into your life. Bottom line, you must feel worthy of the treatment you ask for in order to get it…even from yourself.

Secret Ingredient #3: A Healthy Self-Relationship to Build Self-Confidence

When you truly know who you are: your strengths, weaknesses, dreams, talents, values, lessons learned, etc., you feel more grounded, more worthy, and much more confident.

If you are like most women (and many men), you’ve unconsciously looked for approval from others your whole life, and may not have even asked yourself questions you would ask someone on a first date to get to know them better.

Now you can see why breakups and divorces are rampant. Most people don’t have a healthy self-relationship and that one is the standard for all their other relationships.

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Secret Ingredient #4: Release Pain From the Past for a Healthy Self-Relationship

Your subconscious mind has stored every experience you’ve ever had so if you start to repeat a painful one, it will warn you in an attempt to keep you safe. That’s very helpful in many cases but now that you’ve become an adult, there are a lot of stored up emotional experiences that keep you stuck.

The way to release them is through energy work. It’s simply relaxing your conscious mind and sweeping out the clutter from your subconscious mind. Or you can think of it this way. You were born with new software and now you need a virus scan and some upgrades.

Updating the programs that keep you safe, and replacing the ones that keep you feeling stuck and stressed with those that support your success, is essential to a good self-relationship and ultimately living a truly happy life.

This guest article originally appeared on A Truly Happy Life Requires These 4 Secret Ingredients.

The 4 Secret Ingredients for a Truly Happy Life

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APA Reference
Guest Author, P. (2018). The 4 Secret Ingredients for a Truly Happy Life. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 27, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Jul 2018 (Originally: 8 Jun 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Jul 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.