Everyone has writing on their wall — hidden belief systems and pre-recorded programs that dictate how we behave, react and experience ourselves and the world.
This information has been imprinted onto our subconscious minds like music onto the track of a tape. We may not be aware of it, but we listen to the voice that spouts it everyday, and we do what it says. The writing on our wall is our most prominent advisor, and we consult it all day long.
It’s the writing on our wall that makes us repeat that same unhealthy habits and patterns, and keeps us feeling discouraged, fearful, and even sad. It includes everything we hold to be true, even if it’s not the truth. Our ego rallies to defend everything written on the wall, true or false — it’s all the ego is aware of.
We often only become aware of what is written on our wall by hearing our inner critic. For all our conversations with family, friends, and coworkers, there is one person we speak to more than anyone else: our self. But too often the conversation goes like this: “No matter what I do, I just can’t get it right.” That’s because the inner-voice you’re hearing comes straight from the writing on your wall.
But we can all take back our power from the script on our walls. Follow these five steps:
- Resolve to rewrite the pathways
There is no entity to control your subconscious programs. It’s the mind, not the brain that tells the body what to do. Your willpower and intentions need a new pathway. To create that, you need to examine what’s written on your walls. In the discovery process, you will also develop a new understanding, and a sense of forgiveness — for yourself as well as others. Remember that those others who wrote on our walls did so unknowingly, and they, in turn, were programmed by others, backward through time.
People simply do what they do. But we can move from the Shame /Blame, Good/Bad, Right/Wrong game to taking our own responsibility.
- Write down everything the voice tells you
The first step to rewriting these pathways is to become conscious of how often we check in with the writing on the wall. Then we can begin the process of changing it. Start a journal, and soon you will notice clear patterns and better understand that inner voice. Focus your entries on your experience with that voice: record what it says, including all the details.
You will discover that the voice is not really who you are, it’s someone else’s story that was passed on to you. It may be the story of a parent, a caregiver, a teacher, or a friend. Note when you have conflicts with what the voice is saying, and don’t try to come up with answers. You’re just observing and allowing more questions to come to the surface.
- Use questions to gain insights
Try to end each journal entry with a question instead of a statement, as a reminder to stay open during this process of discovery. Reality test what the voice says. Respond to the voice, telling it how you feel, and recording your emotions. And to gain insights on the nature of the writing on your wall, ask yourself these questions, making sure to you are paying attention to your answer:
- Do I hear/pay attention to the voice in my head?
- How often do I hear the voice in my head?
- What is it saying to me? Is it positive or negative?
- Is what the voice is saying ringing true or false?
- What do I think about what the voice says?
- Do I believe in what the voice is saying?
- Which statements do I agree with, and disagree with?
- What emotions come up for me when I hear the voice in my head?
- Does it sound like someone I might have heard before? And if so, who?
- Reach Out to Others
Start an ongoing conversation with a friend or loved one, sharing your experiences of the voice in your head and the process of journaling. Encourage them to tell their story, talking about their inner voice and when it shows up for them. As they talk, practice active listening.
Share reflections on each of your experiences, discussing your conflicts or reactions. Talk about whether those voices have caused you to miss anything in your lives — opportunities, experiences, and events. Talk about what needs, attachments, or beliefs you might have had that either interfered with or supported that voice.
- Celebrate the Milestones
As you continue this practice, your mind will begin to dismantle any old template that is not being used. You’ll find that you will notice more quickly just when you’re hooked into habitual patterns, and that it’s easier to refrain from addictive or destructive habitual behaviors. A kind of shedding may start to happen — a shedding of old habits, a shedding of being held hostage by fear.
One day you will be free to simply be who you really are.
Standing up to the writing on your wall takes personal courage and honesty. Celebrate this growth in yourself as you undertake this process. Make sure to pat yourself on the back — for your ability to create change, disable that critical voice, and take back your power as you rewrite the writing on your wall.