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Stop Fighting Your Inner Critic with One Simple Strategy

Think about the last time you felt fear and anxiety take control of your day.

Maybe they stopped you from making an important contribution in a meeting because you felt like your opinion wasn’t worthwhile. Or maybe a simple email took you hours to write because your inner critic kept telling you it wasn’t good enough.

That YOU weren’t good enough.

What did you do? How did you respond?

For a lot of us, whenever we feel bad, we think that we are bad. As if having negative feelings somehow makes us weak or a failure.

I think we have the hyper-positive whitewashing in the media and self-help industry to “thank” (blame) for making us feel this way. There’s no shortage of experts or gurus talking about how we need to eliminate so-called “negative” emotions. But personally, I’m sick of the “fake it til you make it” approach to positive thinking. In the long term all it does is make us feel inadequate.

Day after day, I see my clients looking for a strategic way to build confidence. They want to go beyond the common advice to sugar-coat their struggles behind the mantra of “just be positive!”

Imagine if you could start hearing your inner critic as instructive rather than destructive. What if you could put your inner critic to work for you instead of constantly going in circles battling the negative voices in your head?

In my TEDx talk (below), I show you how listening to your inner critic, when done right, can actually be a useful tool.

You’ll find out:

  • The counter-intuitive reason why feeling like a fraud can be a good thing, and how to use it for motivation.
  • Why you’re not alone if feel like you’re still failing despite following the common advice about positivity, building confidence, and overcoming imposter syndrome.
  • A quick, actionable, and research-based mental framework that will actually help you manage your fear and self-doubt in a healthy, productive way.

I’d love to know what you think! Like the video and leave a comment with your thoughts. I read every single one.

P.S. Many readers have already said that the approach I share in my 9-minute TEDx talk helped them make progress after years of dealing with chronic self-doubt. Watch my TEDx talk now.

Stop Fighting Your Inner Critic with One Simple Strategy

Melody Wilding, LMSW

Melody Wilding, LMSW is a performance coach, licensed social worker, and has a Masters from Columbia. She helps established and rising managers and executives advance in their careers. Her clients work at companies like Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, HP, and Deloitte. She also helps entrepreneurs take bold steps to grow their businesses. Melody has helped over 10,000 smart, self-aware people like you. Her coaching gives you actionable strategies to reach your goals. You get concrete steps to overcome the complex struggles of success. Melody loves arming ambitious people with tools and tactics to boost their confidence. She can teach you skills for assertiveness and influence. Her specialties include better managing your emotions at work. Melody also teaches Human Behavior at CUNY Hunter College in NYC. She writes about psychology and careers for Inc., Forbes, Fast Company, and more. Click here and grab the FREE COURSE to go from insecure to unstoppable confidence 5 DAYS TO FREEDOM FROM SELF-DOUBT..

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APA Reference
Wilding, M. (2018). Stop Fighting Your Inner Critic with One Simple Strategy. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 28, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Jul 2018 (Originally: 7 Apr 2017)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Jul 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.