Podcast: Unmasking Fakes: Is Mental Health the New Excuse? (From Listener Questions)

Inside Mental Health Podcast Guest and Host Bio

Rachael Beairsto is a senior editor with Healthline Media. She covers many health topics, including mental health, chronic conditions, and skin care. Most recently, she supported the launch of Wellos, a mobile wellness app that helps members reach their stress, nutrition, and weight goals. She’s passionate about sharing accurate, engaging health information to help people lead their healthiest, happiest lives.

Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, “Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations,” available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can’t imagine life without.

To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com.

Episode Transcript

Producer’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: You’re listening to Inside Mental Health: A Psych Central Podcast where experts share experiences and the latest thinking on mental health and psychology. Here’s your host, Gabe Howard.

Gabe Howard: Hey everyone, welcome to the podcast. I’m your host Gabe Howard. Calling into the show today we have Rachael Beairsto. Rachael is a senior editor for Healthline Media, and she’s been behind the scenes helping out the podcast for a long time. Rachael, welcome to this side of the microphone.

Rachael Beairsto: Thanks, Gabe. Thanks for having me. Excited to be here.

Gabe Howard: I am super excited that you’re here, just to make sure the audience really knows who you are, can you introduce yourself real quick?

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah, absolutely. So I’m a senior editor with Healthline Media, and I’ve been with them since 2020. So as a health editor, I manage the creation of content that publishes on our site. I have a background in biology which helps. I love science and health. I always have and then I in this job and and prior to I’ve covered a huge range of health conditions. So general wellness like skincare over to like niche chronic conditions including mental health topics. So it’s a subject I’m super interested in and excited to talk to you about some of our listeners’ burning questions.

Gabe Howard: Yes. I was just going to say that this puts you in the perfect seat to see all of the questions that come in to Healthline Media. Now, Healthline

Rachael Beairsto: Yes.

Gabe Howard: Is the largest health website in the world. Millions upon millions of hits daily, lots and lots of search terms, lots of questions, lots of everything. And I don’t want to say Rachael sees them all, but she sees the vast majority of them in her role. But most of them are mundane. I don’t, I don’t

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: I don’t want to scare the audience. The vast, vast majority of them are like, what is bipolar disorder? What is schizophrenia? But then there’s there’s some there’s some unique questions that come it.

Rachael Beairsto: There’s some gems.

Gabe Howard: Yeah, Rachael and I were hanging out in New York City

Rachael Beairsto: Yes.

Gabe Howard: Once, and she’s like, you’re not going to believe some of these questions. And I said, well, well hit me with some of them. And she gave me a few of them. And I was like, oh, wow, do we ever answer them? And she’s like, no, not really. They’re just they’re so niche. They don’t really work on the site. And she said, but I always thought it would make a good podcast. And I was like, tell me more about this podcast idea.

Rachael Beairsto: This is it. Here we are. It’s happening.

Gabe Howard: Yes, I am excited. Rachael

Rachael Beairsto: Me too.

Gabe Howard: Hit us with the first question.

Rachael Beairsto: So, one that we thought was really interesting to start was what are some signs that someone is just faking it when it comes to mental health issues?

Gabe Howard: Do you want to jump in first or do you want me? We never actually worked out who got to go first.

Rachael Beairsto: I, I was just going to say, I think that I, I feel like it’s a great one to start with just because there’s almost like a visceral reaction to it. Everyone. I’ve kind of told this subject to kind of looks at me a little strange. They’re like, you really want to answer that? Because I do think it’s a little bit it’s not an easy black and white answer here.

Gabe Howard: I am really glad that you said that. It’s not easy. So. So first off, there’s no blood test. There’s no hair test. You can’t pee in a cup. The doctor can’t, you know, stick a needle in your arm and there’s nothing like that. There’s no cheek swab. And I think that people don’t understand that about mental health as much as they should. I think subconsciously they realize there’s no definitive test. But the way that that comes out is, well, then how do we know you’re telling the truth?

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: And I do kind of understand that because we see all of these pop culture representations of people faking mental illness, and it’s always played up as they’re faking mental illness to get away with something. They’re using it to justify a crime, or they’re using it to justify bad behavior. So I’m going to go out on a little bit of limb here and assume the person who asked that question now suspects that somebody is faking a mental illness because they’re using it as an excuse for something.

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah, well, I think there’s also a few other reasons, like why someone might fake a mental health disorder. And I think to start also, we should say, you know, there are people out there who fake mental health disorders. I think it’s it’s unfair to assume that that is what someone is doing, and you shouldn’t be doing that. But there are people who do that for various number of reasons. So, like, you know, someone who feels really organized might be like, I’m so OCD and that’s obviously a really harmful narrative to be pushing. So I don’t know. There’s also other accommodations and benefits that are provided for people who live with mental health disorders, which are great when someone actually does live with a mental health disorder. Registering an emotional support animal, for example, that could probably be a whole other topic in a podcast.

Gabe Howard: It’s great to get the benefits. I remember about 15 years ago a celebrity and I do remember the celebrity, but I’m gonna I’m gonna take the high road and not out her again. But she actually published a hack for riding with your animal on a plane, and that was registering the animal as an emotional support animal and claiming that you have a mental health issue. The the fallout was drastic. You know, people were like, that’s terrible. Why are you lying about this? Why are you making this up? There’s people who live with mental illness. Now. I live with bipolar disorder. So I was like, wow, I, I never thought that I would live to see the day when people wanted to be me. There’s so much stigma and discrimination and pity and, well, frankly, insulting behavior that comes my way, that somebody was just like, oh, pretend to be Gabe one day and you can ride with your dog. Oh, great. That’s that’s great. I’m

Rachael Beairsto: That’s crazy.

Gabe Howard: So glad that you have boiled down my life experience to a travel hack with your pet. There’s another one that comes up a lot, though, Rachael, that that I always love to point out. Whenever a celebrity gets caught cheating on their spouse, they immediately have sex addiction, hypersexuality, or some sort of mania which is really reminiscent of bipolar disorder. Something made them and I’m making

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: Air quotes. Something made them cheat that was beyond their control that they’re going to go seek rehab for. And that’s a that’s another way that we hear about mental illness being faked. I think now that said hypersexuality, mania and sex addiction can in fact be real. But the numbers that we’re seeing it, I mean, every single celebrity just happens to have this. I mean, what are the odds and only the ones caught cheating? Mind you, the ones who don’t get caught, they’re fine.

Rachael Beairsto: Well, I think it’s also I think that people will use mental health as an excuse for things, because it’s really unlikely that someone’s outright going to be like, you’re lying, you know? And I think that as the conversation about mental health has become so much wider that people are more informed or I shouldn’t say informed because I don’t think that’s the right word. But people are more aware of mental health language and they can use that to apply it to their own situations and as excuses for bad behavior.

Gabe Howard: To, to answer the the question in probably its most mundane form, how do you know if somebody is faking? Are they under the care of a doctor? Are they doing the things that they need to be doing to treat it? Have they been diagnosed officially, or were they diagnosed because they read an article and they related to it? And then finally, just because somebody has a mental health condition doesn’t mean that they’re being reasonable. And in fact, I would argue as somebody who lives with bipolar disorder, you know, when I was manic, when I was depressed, when I was grandiose, when I was experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder, the thing that I may have been asking for could be very, very unreasonable.

Rachael Beairsto: Yes.

Gabe Howard: So again, I went out on this limb. And I’m assuming the genesis of this question is because somebody is pushing boundaries or expects something from somebody, and they’re using mental health to justify that request. Just because somebody is mentally ill doesn’t mean that your boundaries go out the window, so they can be 100% living with a mental health condition and still be asking you for something that’s unreasonable. And

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: The final little thing that I want to throw in here is, listen, I live with bipolar disorder and I’ve done many things because of my symptoms And it is not my fault that that happened, but it is my responsibility. So if I did something to somebody because of a symptom of bipolar disorder, it’s still my responsibility to make restitution. It’s still my responsibility to make amends, and it’s still my responsibility to apologize. So if somebody did something to you because they were symptomatic and they’re like, oh, well, I don’t owe you an apology because I was sick, that doesn’t fly either. They’re not

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: Taking responsibility for their illness. So as you can see, it’s such a nuanced question and

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah

Gabe Howard: So much to unpack.

Rachael Beairsto: It is. And I’m glad that you added that nuance at the end.

Gabe Howard: This was a great first question, Rachael.

Rachael Beairsto: It was

Gabe Howard: All right. What’s the next one?

Rachael Beairsto: So I feel like this was sort of like our main question. And then the other ones are sort of related. So the next one is, isn’t self-harm just a cry for attention?

Gabe Howard: Yes, yes, yes. I mean, okay, first off, the word “just” is problematic. I

Rachael Beairsto: Right.

Gabe Howard: Want to be very clear. The word just a cry for attention really minimizes what people are going through. But if we really boil it down, you know, yes, that that that person does in fact need help and need attention. Why are we not giving it to them? Why do you think they don’t need attention? Self-harm is is very I’m getting tripped up over my own words because just

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: The idea that we wouldn’t help somebody who was harming themselves, it causes a visceral reaction in me.

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah like why would we not help someone who is obviously expressing that they need help through an act of harm on themselves. I, I think it fits into the theme, right with the first question that we talked about it. I could see this question being asked like by the same person who submitted the first question, what are some signs that someone is just faking it when it comes to mental health issues? Isn’t self-harm just a cry for attention?

Gabe Howard: I know exactly what you mean, and I completely understand that. That’s what makes it difficult for people

Rachael Beairsto: And I think both of these questions are coming from a place of like being a little bit wary about other people, and maybe that’s why people are turning to Healthline or social media to get those kind of answers because they don’t want to ask people in their lives and sound insensitive. I’m assuming good intent from these people, right?

Sponsor Break

Gabe Howard: And we’re back discussing unmasking fakes. Is mental health the new excuse? With senior editor for Healthline Media Rachael Beairsto.

Rachael Beairsto: You know, I think that social media also doesn’t help the conversation all the time. I think people have become a lot more open talking about mental health and even self-harm. But that content, let’s call it 60 seconds, is not nearly nuanced enough to capture like the actual diagnosis process. And people will often put the most general symptoms. So let’s say it’s a TikTok about, you know, do you have bipolar disorder? And they put the four most general symptoms, especially like a young viewer, someone who’s viewing that might see three of them and say, well, I have, you know, I feel like those or I have those and make a diagnosis for themselves.

Rachael Beairsto: And, you know, that’s not necessarily their fault. But I think that, like, we’ve become more comfortable talking about it. And I think that maybe these questions are like a natural pushback in a way, or a natural reaction to doubting a little bit. Like, have we talked too much about mental health? Some people may be now too quick to like medicalize our feelings and relationships and emotions. So like our typical human experiences, ups and downs in moods or days that I’m feeling really anxious, not to minimize those like those can be very hard to deal with, especially as they’re happening. But, you know, now people might misconstrue those as being a symptom of a condition, because we’re seeing so much content about what people are experiencing is real, but does it necessarily need to be a condition every time? Probably not.

Gabe Howard: Probably not is the correct answer. And I hope we don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm. I also feel like there are other reasons why someone might fake a mental health disorder in addition to like an excuse for behavior maybe that they aren’t proud of. You know, some people might want to say that they’re experiencing a symptom or a condition to feel special and putting quotes, air quotes around special or included more air quotes and growing conversations about mental health. There’s also, so-called more air quotes, benefits of certain conditions, like being perceived as really creative or really particularly organized. You know, maybe you can speak to this a little bit more, but I feel like there are these perceived benefits where someone who is maybe faking a mental health disorder might want those, but not actually accept or acknowledge the reality of living with that condition, which is a lot more nuanced than like a tortured artist or a very organized person.

Gabe Howard: One of the things that I feel that comes up a lot, especially in pop culture, is whenever I watch a movie or a television show and there’s like this really great artist, I always brace myself because I know it’s coming. I know they’re going to tell me that they have a mental illness or that they’ve experienced some sort of trauma. There’s just always this idea that great art must be inspired by something horrific happening to a person mental illness, trauma, whatever. And I hate that one. I know a ton of artists are just some of them have a mental illness? Yes. Do some of them have trauma in their backgrounds? Yes. Do the majority of them know? Many of them are boring people, and we’ve had lots and lots of conversations, especially with me living with bipolar disorder and me hating this trope so much. And they’re like, you know, look, we we’ve had to design kind of a darkness in our personas as artists, even though we’re happy go lucky people, because people just expect artists to have some sort of edge. We

Gabe Howard: Love the edgy artist, we love the tortured soul. We love the beauty coming from a place of pain and narrative. And we love it so much that artists have realized this. Pop culture has realized this,

Rachael Beairsto: That’s what sells.

Gabe Howard: And it sells.

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah.

Gabe Howard: And we believe that it’s true not because it is, but because the narrative has been pushed so much and we’ve

Gabe Howard: Really got to get away from this. For so many reasons, Rachael.

Rachael Beairsto: It’s a tired narrative. It’s too tired.

Gabe Howard: It’s a tired narrative. It’s an untrue narrative. But this is the one that gets me. So

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: I’m a speaker. I live with bipolar disorder. Obviously, one of the hallmarks of bipolar disorder is mania. Mania is often described as being like the life of the party, very charismatic, etc. So I’m a speaker. Nobody wants a speaker who is not charismatic or can command the attention of a room, right? It’s sort of a job requirement.

Rachael Beairsto: Yes.

Gabe Howard: And I get hit with this so often. Oh my God, Gabe, you are so great at your job. Because of the bipolar disorder, they’ve just stripped my humanity away. I first off, bipolar disorder tried to kill me. I was committed to a psychiatric hospital because of bipolar disorder. It caused my family untold pain. Friends, I just bipolar disorder wreaked havoc on my life and the lives of people that I care about. And now you’re giving it credit for my hard work.

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah. To attribute like your skills and things that you’ve worked hard at to a disorder that you don’t want and can’t control. Well can hopefully control but can’t control the fact that you have it. That is really painful I’m sure.

Gabe Howard: It’s very painful because it also leaves people with this idea that I somehow got lucky.

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah.

Gabe Howard: I just it’s not that I worked hard. It’s not that I practiced. Is it difficult to go up on stage 20 years later? No. It’s gotten a lot easier because I’ve gotten a lot of practice, but

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: It’s always hardest to do something the first time. You know, there was a first speech. There was a first speech in front of a whole group of people. And I had to find the, the, the everything to get up on that stage. And listen, Rachael, I was terrible. It was awful. I did not do a particularly great job if you’re validating me as a speaker, but I was real and I was vulnerable, and I tried really hard, and I’m really proud that I did it because it set the stage for all of the other speeches that came. Bipolar disorder had nothing to do with that.

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: Bipolar disorder did in fact choose my subject. I cannot get around that. But but listen, I, I would have found something else to talk about and I would have worked just as hard. I

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: Just I can’t help but think that if I did not live with bipolar disorder, that I’d still be a loud mouthed extrovert doing something with my voice. I just, I, I refuse to believe that bipolar disorder made me into this. And there’s a little bit of pain that that people believe that I didn’t work hard. I just got lucky.

Rachael Beairsto: Absolutely. I also just I feel like that’s a mischaracterization of mania because of how people understand it based on movies and other content they’ve consumed. I feel and please correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like if someone was truly in a manic episode, they would not be able to, well, at least memorize a speech. And, maybe they wouldn’t even show up to their scheduled duties. I think that people think that when you’re in a manic episode, you’re just like, like you’re using your brain to 100% of its abilities and you’re just you don’t need to sleep. And that’s a good thing? And people are funnier and happier and just have these, all these creative ideas when really like, you’re very, you can be, I’m sure it’s different for everyone. But like you, you’re very disjointed and jumping from one thing to another and putting yourself at risk in certain ways, too. Like maybe you’re getting paid for a gig and you don’t even show up, even though that’s your livelihood.

Gabe Howard: Exactly. Mania is an extraordinarily dangerous. It cannot be controlled, and it’s a symptom of an illness for a reason.

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah.

Gabe Howard: And the very idea that anything good comes out of it is at best, luck.

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: But what it mostly is, is just good PR the

Rachael Beairsto: Yeah.

Gabe Howard: Public relations team for mania is incredible because no matter what mania does, they find a way to spin it. So it’s a positive, you know? Oh, you screamed at your parents and left, but then you went to that party. And remember, that’s where that’s where you met that guy. And it was awesome, remember? And it just completely erases the fact that you told off your family on the way out the door. You missed your kid’s birthday party, you quit your job, and you ended up in Las Vegas. And it just focuses on that incredible dance move that you learned. It’s like, well, now wait a minute. Hang on. Whenever anybody tells the story, they find that one little snippet where, yeah, look, I cannot deny that mania has gotten me into some places that that frankly, the story is kind of cool because I just would not have had the confidence to get there without it. But I hurt a lot of people and it was not worth it. It was not worth the trade. Don’t mistake an accidental benefit for a good life choice.

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.Yeah. I’m glad that you brought that nuance into it too, because I think it’s an important point.

Gabe Howard: I don’t think that bipolar disorder has like some sort of back door gift that made me better. I think it only made me worse. And who wants to be associated with being worse?

Rachael Beairsto: Right.

Gabe Howard: But it is important to say, Rachael and I want to make sure we touch on this as we’re getting ready to close. Mental health and mental illness are are not the same thing.

Rachael Beairsto: Mm-hmm.

Gabe Howard: They’re sort of related, but they’re not the same thing. And we need to understand that while all mental illness is mental health, not all mental health is mental illness. Mental health can also be good. Mental

Rachael Beairsto: Right,

Gabe Howard: Illness can never be good.

Rachael Beairsto: Right. We should all be striving to have good mental health, right?

I think that that’s a really important thing for us to all strive to be doing a little bit more.

Gabe Howard: I completely agree Rachael. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I hope you had fun.

Rachael Beairsto: I did thank you for having me, Gabe. It was great.

Gabe Howard: Well, you are very welcome, Rachael. And I want to give a great big thank you to all of our listeners. My name is Gabe Howard and I’m an award winning public speaker, and I could be available for your next event. I also wrote the book “Mental Illness Is an Asshole and Other Observations,” which you can get on Amazon. But if you want to get a signed copy and get some free swag, just hit me up on my website, gabehoward.com. And wherever you downloaded this episode, please follow or subscribe to the show. It is absolutely free, and the only way to guarantee that you don’t miss a thing. And can you do me a favor? Recommend the show to your friends, your family, your colleagues. Share us on social media. Share us on a support group. Send somebody a text message. Because sharing the show with the people you know is how we’re going to grow. I will see everybody next time on Inside Mental Health.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to Inside Mental Health: A Psych Central Podcast from Healthline Media. Have a topic or guest suggestion? E-mail us at show@psychcentral.com. Previous episodes can be found at psychcentral.com/show or on your favorite podcast player. Thank you for listening.