Does anxiety keep you from living the best life possible? Do you feel that you are nervous all the time? Are you not sure the difference between anxiety, worry, and paranoia? Want some suggestions on how to cope?
Listen in as our hosts discuss all this – and more – on this week’s episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast.
“I am constantly paranoid that my whole life will fall apart because I’m not good enough.”
– Gabe Howard
Highlights From ‘Anxiety & Paranoia’ Episode
[1:00] What’s the difference between anxious, nervous and paranoid?
[3:00] Michelle explains her delusions — which stem from anxiety.
[5:00] Night time is when anxiety is worst for Gabe.
[10:00] What is paranoia? Is it anxiety induced?
[14:30] Does Michelle get anxious selling her clothing line Schizophrenic.NYC on the streets of NYC?
[20:00] Gabe can’t help but see the worst in his speech evaluations.
[23:00] Nerves can be good sometimes.
Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Anxiety and Paranoia – How to Deal’ Show
Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Announcer: For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.
Gabe: Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I have bipolar disorder.
Michelle: Hi I’m Michelle Hammer and I’m schizophrenic. And this week we are going to talk about anxiety.
Michelle: I’m so nervous talking about this.
Gabe: I think that it’s interesting that you said I’m so nervous talking about it because there is a world of difference between nerves and anxiety just like there’s a world of difference between anxiety and paranoia but they’re all kind of on the same spectrum.
Michelle: Does it go nervous, anxious, paranoid?
Gabe: I mean yeah. And arguably it could start off with like worry like I’m worried now I’m nervous now I’m anxious now I’m paranoid. Then you get into like delusions or paranoid delusions or just straight up losing touch with reality. People that are fans of the show that have heard Michelle talk before you were paranoid about your mother because you thought that she was trying to hurt you.
Michelle: Oh, yeah.
Gabe: You weren’t worried about it. You weren’t anxious about it. You were straight up delusional.
Michelle: Oh straight up delusional, absolutely delusional. Yes absolutely. I still go delusional all the time before I go to bed I start thinking about all kinds of things that happened throughout my life and I completely go delusional. Every day I’m delusional.
Gabe: We don’t want to talk a lot about delusions because we really want to focus on anxiety but I think that’s kind of an important thing that you said you said two things that I think are very important one you said that you have delusions almost every day and to you’re aware of them. Having delusions every day is something that you probably want to talk to a doctor about.
Gabe: That’s not ideal. Right? Right, Michelle?
Michelle: I would agree with that one yes. It’s not ideal. Don’t want them but it happens.
Gabe: So you are working on that with your medical team? I have to ask.
Michelle: Yes. Yes. Yes.
Gabe: But you are aware of them and that’s you know delusions they take away your ability to be rational. That’s why it’s a delusion. If we all understood when we were being delusional we wouldn’t be delusional. So you’re kind of like in a gray area where you acknowledge that they’re delusions but you’re also kind of like hey I’m aware that they’re delusions. What’s that like?
Michelle: You know it’s pretty awful actually. It’s always really before I go to bed. I’m just trying to fall asleep and start thinking about the past and I’m thinking and this happened. This must have happened this person said this to me and that said this to me and I said this. And we said this and then this happened. And then I was horribly embarrassed and this horrible thing went down oh no. Oh no no. But then something else will come in. Oh remember when this happened? And then this happened and this happened oh no I was horribly embarrassed and then maybe a new story will pop up and then this happened in this happened in this have I don’t know I was horribly embarrassed pretty much how it goes
Gabe: But are all those stories false?
Michelle: I have no idea if they’re false. Which is really interesting. I don’t know if maybe parts of them could be true parts or true parts are false. I don’t really know. Sometimes I call people and ask them or sometimes I don’t want to ask anybody if these delusions are true because I’m too afraid that they might actually be true because they’re so horrible.
Gabe: It really sounds like you have like a little combo deal going because of their completely made up and fabricated in your head. They’re absolutely unequivocally delusions. But if they actually did happen and you’re just worried about your role in them, that’s anxiety. And of course if it is a delusion that you had a long time ago but you’re worried about how you’re remembered you’re anxious about a previous delusion and you’re probably nervous as to where this conversation is going.
Michelle: I mean I don’t know. The thing is all of these things are so of the past that are totally irrelevant to my life now that I really don’t care anymore about them. So I don’t understand why they just why I’m dwelling on this nonsense late at night just stop already. Just stop already. Get over it. Why can’t I just get over it and stop thinking about it. I’m done. It’s done. Who cares. It’s done. Make it stop, Gabe! Gabe, make it stop.
Gabe: I’m trying to make you stop. This is exactly how anxiety works though and for many people myself included Nighttime is when anxiety is absolutely the worst. It’s quiet. There’s nothing to distract my brain. There’s nothing to focus on. It’s just me in a dark room lying in bed with nothing but my thoughts and as I start bringing up those thoughts I start ruminating. I start ruminating on ideas for example the last one that happened involving you a couple of days ago I had texted you about something and you answered you know like I texted you and I said Hey do you have headphones and you go back. I have headphones and wrote I back. Great. I’m glad you have your headphones and you’re like why wouldn’t I. And I was like Oh that’s funny. And I put my phone away and then now at night I’m like wait. She said Why wouldn’t I have headphones? Ohhhh, she thinks I’m accusing her of losing her headphones. Oh no. Michelle thinks that I don’t trust her. Oh Michelle is going to quit the show. So here I am 3 in the morning and basically trying to decide if it’s reasonable to call you and ask you if you’re mad at me because I asked you about headphones. That’s what anxiety does to a person. Now I’m not delusional because we did have a conversation about headphones. I’m not paranoid because I don’t think you’re coming to kill me. I don’t think there’s anything bigger it’s just the story. It’s just I’m anxious about a conversation that we had in the past and that maybe I misunderstood your reaction to it. Now by the time I sleep get a good night’s sleep everything’s fine I wake up and I think you’re a fucking idiot games doesn’t give a goddamn about headphones. But but that at night that night was rough man.
Michelle: It is.
Gabe: It was rough.
Michelle: It’s rough at night. Why is it so rough at night?
Gabe: Well I’m gonna say because we don’t practice good sleep hygiene.
Gabe: But it’s quiet and it really is true. A lot of us don’t respect the process of falling asleep and therefore we do things that sabotage it and that sabotage has consequences. That’s why we did a whole episode on sleep hygiene.
Michelle: Yeah but you ever have those moments where you have a whole conversation with a person and then you leave and then you wish you said something completely differently the entire time.
Gabe: Oh my God. Yes. Yes. You are the number one person. I do that with the number one person. Whenever we have a discussion and we don’t agree on something and we like hang up on each other and since we always video chat I like the key that I have to press to end the video chat is broken on my computer like I have to buy laptops in order to replace that key because I always hang up on you like, click. It’s like for real. Kendall always knows when we’re done because I slam that key so hard. And then I replay the entire conversation in my head for like the next four hours thinking of all the things I wish I would have said to you. I win every argument. After we’re done talking.
Michelle: And after we’re done talking I go. I’m not thinking about Gabe for another day.
Gabe: I know that’s not true. This is how I know you’re thinking about it because like a couple of hours later you’ll text me and you’ll be like Hey how are you. What’s going on today.
Michelle: Because I worry about you because you’re always flipping out you’re like you’re like
Michelle: We got in a fight and now I’m sleeping under a chair.
Gabe: That was a really bad fight.
Michelle: So now gotta check up on you.
Gabe: I’d like to point out that in that fight you told me that I ruined your life and you quit the show and that I was a horrible horrible person. I literally threw my phone across the room. It’s just by the grace of I don’t know who is in charge of the universe that it hit a nice comfy fluffy chair and because I was having this conversation with you in the dark I had to try to find my phone in the dark. And then I fell asleep under the chair. This is what mental illness looks like. This is what anxiety looks like. It causes these things in people even people who are friends. And that’s why Michelle and I bring this up when we’re not bringing this up because we want you to think that you know we’re insane. That part should be evidence.
Michelle: That part should be quite evident. As of now any listeners of this show that has listened to at least two episodes should know.
Gabe: You think they need to. I think if you’ve listened to five minutes of any episode you’re like wow these people are co-dependent and in a bad relationship.
Michelle: Let’s take a break and hear from our sponsor.
Announcer: Announcer: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.
Michelle: And we’re back. I was worried we weren’t gonna make it. Do you ever get paranoid?
Gabe: I get paranoid all the time all the time and it starts off with anxiety. Is that how yours kind of flows. You and I both talk about paranoia but you have paranoid schizophrenia. Your paranoia makes my paranoia look like a walk on the beach. What is it about paranoid schizophrenia that’s so much different or so much worse for you. Because my paranoia has never driven me to psychosis. Yours has
Michelle: Well it does.
Gabe: And could again.
Michelle: Well OK first of all I take I take enough medication now that I don’t get super paranoid anymore so it’s been it’s been a while but I used to like to see newspaper headlines and I thought they were speaking to me like telling me like just just on purposely telling me things just for some reason. That was one thing. But like in high school being paranoid in class anytime I heard a whisper I thought it was about me there whispering about me. Everybody’s talking about me. Everybody everybody all the time if they’re looking at me they’re whispering always which is really actually vain if you think about it and you think everyone’s talking about you. It’s vain.
Gabe: But hang on let let me let me let me stop you right there. Is it being worried that people are talking about you. Isn’t that just on the worried and anxiety spectrum. Are you just anxious that people are talking about you or like you said
Gabe: You know Is it narcissism is it vanity like how is that paranoia. That seems like anxiety to me.
Michelle: It’s because it just overpowers you because then you’re sitting in class instead of learning. You’re thinking What is everyone saying about me. Are they talking about my clothing or are they talking about what I said. Are they talking about anything about me do they know if I’m smart They think I’m stupid. What am I doing. And then I have no idea what’s going on in class anymore because I’m too worried about what everyone’s saying about me. Anything like that I can’t I can’t do anything without being worried or paranoid that people are saying things about me just anything.
Gabe: So it does start off that way it starts off as if you’re worried about it then you’re anxious about it and then it becomes a full blown paranoia.
Michelle: Yeah because then you start to believe it.
Gabe: So this is an excellent example of how unchecked anxiety can really lead to big things. I mean like worse things like so many people believe that anxiety is like is like something that they should be able to control on their own like oh you’re anxious we’ll get over it. Buck up you know be stronger it’s not about you toughen up
Gabe: Why are you anxious Don’t be a chicken shit. I mean there’s a lot
Gabe: Of that but it’s.
Michelle: Because like you could have a whole group of friends you’re friends with but then I really believe that all of them actually really do hate you and they just hang out with you. To be nice.
Gabe: I think it’s funny that you said that you’re worried that everybody was talking about your clothes because now that you are the founder of schizophrenic NYC the fourth clothing line started by a schizophrenic. You’re now paranoid that people aren’t talking about your clothes.
Michelle: Yes this is true. Haha.
Gabe: Don’t be paranoid Michelle.
Michelle: Don’t be paranoid. You look great.
Gabe: You look great. You need one for anxiety. You need one for anxiety like, “Don’t be anxious your ass is fine.”
Michelle: Yeah that’s a great one. Don’t be anxious, your ass is fine.
Gabe: You could put it on leggings.
Michelle: I’m not doing that, Gabe. That’s not funny.
Gabe: Why can’t I ever get my ideas onto your clothing.
Michelle: Make your own clothing. Then why don’t you make your own leggings like that.
Gabe: I don’t want to make leggings but I do have my own bipolar clothing line which as you know is being discontinued overrun gave Howard AECOM right now. So as soon as it’s gone it’s gone. And you made me a coupon code for like twenty five percent off and I don’t even remember what it is.
Michelle: I think it’s just 25 off.
Gabe: Like 2 5 0 F F.
Michelle: Yeah capital O F F.
Gabe: So there you go. You can save 25 percent on a bipolar shirt by going over to GabeHoward.com right now.
Michelle: Great, Gabe.
Gabe: I just. Yeah yeah. See how I work that in there. Now I’m anxious that nobody is gonna buy a shirt and that everybody’s gonna think that the shirt sucks and that’s why nobody’s buying it. That’s not even a joke like I really do think when people come over to like a booth that I have in public Michelle and I in go public and we have booths and like Michelle sells her clothing. I’ll sell my books. And when people come over and look at our stuff and then they walk away I think Oh my God. This means they hated me. This means that Michelle piss them off. This means that I don’t know that we did something wrong. Isn’t just commerce.
Michelle: Well, selling is very very different. It’s hard. You can never. There’s no algorithms you never know how you’re gonna do. You never know you can be somewhere you could sell a lot. You can go somewhere else not sell it. It’s never you. It’s the market. If the street is where you are. You can’t be I think that way.
Gabe: I’ve got a couple of quotes because Michelle you you sell your clothing on one of the most aggressive streets in the world in one of the most aggressive cities in the world. And you’re like 5′ 2″ 100 pounds. You’re a tiny woman and you’re standing on the streets of New York City in front of tourists and other vendors. And that’s where you sell your goods. That’s got to be anxiety provoking. I mean it’s anxious working in retail causes anxiety. And this is a whole nother level. This is like street fighting retail.
Gabe: How is not for you? How do you manage it?
Michelle: I just do You just do. You get to know people you start talking to people you learn your customers are you know I’ve been doing it for so long that I know what I’m saying. Everything I’m saying I’ve said a million times before. Most questions I get asked. I’ve been asked a million times before. You know I’m. I’m selling my own products and they’re selling other people’s products. So I know I have answers for everything. And sometimes some people want to talk and sometimes people already know who I am which is kind of interesting.
Gabe: Michelle, what you said there though if you peel away all the fluff is that you’re prepared.
Gabe: You have stock answers you by gaining experience and preparation. You know what people are going to ask. Nine times out of 10 and you have a set answer for those things that allow things to go smoother. This is really analogous to like learning coping mechanisms. Like so if if somebody asks you does this shirt come in an 8XL you know to say oh I only carry up to a size 2XL. The design doesn’t look good if you make it too big. And if the design is too small it doesn’t look good. I know you don’t say that but that’s an example.
Michelle: Yes, that would be so dumb to say that, Gabe.
Gabe: Listen I don’t. I don’t sell shirt but you know what to say to make the customer happy and then you immediately which I think is something that you actually do well. The minute you don’t have something that somebody once you answer the question of what they don’t want. And you immediately try to get them to focus on something that you have. It’s like Do you have the shirt in a 3XL? I don’t have the Define Normal in a 3XL, but I do have the Don’t Be Paranoid, You Look Great in 3XL. Like it is just so seamless that helps your experience. Now maybe when you first started you would’ve just been like no.
Michelle: Yeah. When I first started I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t even have a sign.
Gabe: Right. So think about people who are managing anxiety you know nerves anxiety worry at this high level. This is where coping skills can really really help because you’re probably a lot less anxious and nervous and worried as a street vendor in New York City. Now that you have all this experience and you’ve essentially learned coping skills coping mechanisms you learn things that worked to help you become better at what you do to manage your business. But it also allows you to manage your own anxiety.
Michelle: I kind of get what you’re saying as a coping skill in everything. Yes. Being prepared does help. Yes. Because like I said I. I say a lot of the same things and people ask me a lot of the same questions. So I really do always have an answer unless I’m really the only answers I don’t have is like these girls that come up to me and they said that their mother was schizophrenic and they want to know what schizophrenia is like because of their mom. Their mom was and I was just so taken aback I was like What am I supposed to say to these girls. That was a hard one.
Gabe: But being hard it doesn’t mean that you can’t get through it.
Gabe: And because you didn’t have all of these little anxiety provoking things when the big one did happen you were probably in a good space right.
Michelle: Right. Yeah.
Gabe: Because just like in retail anxiety you can’t control everything. I think that everybody in America knows that first days are anxiety producing. You don’t have to have mental illness or an anxiety disorder to think that like the first day at a new job or at a new school or a new anything.
Michelle: I’ve had quite a few first days.
Gabe: Yeah well that’s right because you get fired a lot.
Gabe: Yeah I know but I had this routine that I would do whenever I started someplace new whether it be you know a new job a new school or whatever where the night before I would drive the route I would drive around in the parking lot and figure out where I was going to park. I would learn where like the cafeteria was if they had one and if they didn’t have a cafeteria I’d learn where the nearest you know McDonald’s or something was for lunch. I would plan out as much of my day as possible. I would know when to wake up I would pick out my clothing the night before that way that day I’d already made all of the decisions that I could reasonably think of. So when the things happened that I couldn’t prepare for I had the energy to use for that I didn’t have to worry about using energy on whether or not my clothes looked good because I got over that anxiety the day before and I think this really has helped me in my life. I do the same thing when I speak. You’ve seen this I always go and walk up on the stage and I look at where my mark is and I look at the podium and I shake it to see whether or not it rattles or not I. I see if it’s a lapel mike. I have this whole routine. That way when I’m onstage I don’t have to worry about any of this stuff. I made all those decisions yesterday. I really think this is just good advice to be prepared. But I think that if you’re out there managing an anxiety disorder or you’re just a naturally anxious person. Preparation is valuable. It’s really valuable.
Michelle: Even if all that preparation for your speech you still believe you did a great job afterwards?
Gabe: No I’m always anxious that I did an awful job. And this is where we start to get into you know more paranoia or more delusions. But it starts off with the anxiety. I gave a speech the other day in front of 30 people. It was actually a class; it was an eight hour class. I was in the class for eight hours. I was the instructor. I got the evaluations. There was 28 evaluations, so two people didn’t fill them out. And out of those 28 evaluations, 25 people gave me a “5.” The highest you can get. Two people gave me a “4.” No big deal. One person gave me a “1.”
Michelle: What a dick.
Gabe: Yeah, that’s exactly right. And that’s all I can think about.
Michelle: No, you can’t please everyone.
Gabe: I don’t care. I should have been there for that person. I didn’t meet that person’s needs. That person didn’t have a good day. I should have I should have worked harder to meet that person’s expectations. But here’s the thing that I do tell myself if I would have met that one person’s expectation then it’s not unreasonable to assume that the other 25 people would have then given me a “1” because that person gave me a “5.” And these are all anonymous. I have no idea why that person gave me a one. Maybe that person doesn’t believe in mental illness. Maybe that person was forced to come to this class by their wife spouse or their child. Who knows who knows why they gave me a one maybe and this is what my wife said because she’s super awesome. Maybe the person read the instructions wrong and was saying, “Gabe is number one.”
Michelle: That’s true. Maybe there are the instructions wrong.
Gabe: But notice that that’s what we’re talking about. Notice that I never said Hey, Michelle, I’m a really good presenter. I got twenty five fives out of 28 emails. You know how amazing that is. That’s a really excellent. That’s valedictorian level evaluation scores. But that’s not what I can focus on. All I can focus on is that one person hated me. That means I suck. That means I’m never gonna get hired again. I’m never going to teach that class again. I’m not going to be able to pay for anything. That’s just how I feel. I’m constantly paranoid that my whole life is going to fall apart because I’m not good enough. And that starts with anxiety. It starts with anxiety. The day that I take the class or the speech or the contract I just think oh what happens when they realize they made a mistake and that anxiety slowly grows and I work very very very very hard to manage it. But even I fall apart sometimes I do I end up under the proverbial chair.
Michelle: The proverbial treasure. I’m sorry that happens to you, Gabe.
Michelle: Well I never had any comment cards or evaluations or anything but after every speech I’ve given I’ve always thought like was that good. Did I do OK. Did I suck. I don’t know. Maybe I don’t know. Could’ve done better. Maybe.
Gabe: And I really do believe that some of that is healthy. I think that if you are 100 percent positive that you are 100 percent great 100 percent of the time you’re an asshole.
Michelle: Understood. Understood.
Gabe: You know anxiety and nerves. They have a place. People asked me for advice on being a speaker all the time and they’re like, “Well I’m just so nervous.” And I always say this: Good! Nerves are good. You should be nervous. You are responsible for your words for the audience for everything that is about to happen on that stage. You you’re responsible for all of that all by yourself. If you’re not a little bit nervous you’re not taking it seriously. I’m always a little bit nervous before I walk out on stage and I got to tell you I love that feeling. It’s exhilarating. It’s a little bit scary. It’s a little bit hopeful. It’s exciting and I walk out and then I see that audience and that’s what my preparation kicks in. That’s when my training kicks in. That’s when you know I know that the podium rocks back and forth or not. And I have my first few lines memorized so I already know what I’m gonna say even if I don’t know anything that’s going on. The first three lines of my speeches are always exactly the same because they’re just that practiced and then it subsides.
Michelle: I mean I go out there thinking I don’t know what I’m doing. And sometimes it just works. It just works. I don’t know. I don’t know why I just get up and have a delivery of this is what I’m saying. This is how it is and I get a good response from the audience that way. Get a read the audience.
Gabe: But what happens if you don’t.
Michelle: Well you know what if the audience isn’t really getting my drift. Maybe there are a bunch of old crotchety people?
Gabe: Wow. So your mechanism to handle anxiety is to blame the audience?
Michelle: I’ll blame the audience because I
Michelle: Think I have quite a delivery of just like, “Oh hey guys. How you guys doing today?” And if their response is rude, they suck.
Gabe: Attention event planners and conference people. I want you to know that if you’re choosing to hire a mental health speaker and your choice is Michelle Hammer a.k.a. I hate the audience and they suck or Gabe Howard I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that your attendings have a great experience. I think you know what to do.
Michelle: No. The thing is all audiences will love me. They will love me. All audiences.
Gabe: Wow. Now you are delusional.
Michelle: Now I’m delusional? You know it. That’s right.
Gabe: Straight up delusional.
Michelle: All right guys. Anxiety is totally manageable. It sucks to have but it’s completely manageable. I’ve dealt with it. Gabe has dealt with it. It totally sucks but you can power through you can power through your worries compare through the anxiety the nervousness you can get through paranoia. It takes a while but you can get through it. It might not ever go away but you can get through it. And
Gabe: And in fact, they probably won’t go away.
Gabe: I mean you and I still bit our anxiety is so much better than when we started.
Michelle: Absolutely. Yeah. Took me a long time. Still deal with it though not as paranoid as I used to be. Gabe deals with his life somehow sleeps under chairs. You know what I’m saying? So it all works out. You got this bro.
Gabe: What about the ladies?
Michelle: And the ladies.
Gabe: Michelle, it is always awesome hanging out with you. Do you have any last words for our listeners?
Michelle: Take some big deep breaths.
Gabe: Do you find that helpful, seriously?
Michelle: No, not really at all.
Gabe: Then why are you telling people to do it?
Michelle: I don’t know. That’s what annoying people tell nervous people to do.
Gabe: That is true. But listen. Just because something is annoying advice doesn’t mean that it’s not good advice. Take a deep breath slow down sit down. Count to 10. Michelle can’t do any of those things because she’d have to stop talking in order to do them. Thank you everybody for listening to this week’s episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast where ever you download this podcast. Write us a review. Use your words. Leave us as many stars as humanly possible. Share this on social media. Send it to a friend. Tell all of your support groups about us. Really. We still don’t have the money to take out advertising so we’re counting on literally you. We’ll see you next week on A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast.
Announcer: You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe, go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. This show’s official web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at [email protected]. Thank you for listening, and share widely.
Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts
GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.
MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.