13 Reasons Why Not

So to start, I must confess -- I have only watched the first episode of this popular and controversial Netflix series. I don’t know that I’ll make myself watch the rest. But, as a social worker and child therapist, I have been paying attention to the buzz generated by the show. I know so much has already been said, that everyone from
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Grief and Loss

A Practical Tip for Developing a Stress-Resilient Life

“Your dad’s had a heart attack.”  

My own heart shot into my throat, hearing my mother’s garbled words a thousand miles away.

“He’s going to be okay, but maybe you could fly out?”

It’s been almost two years since my father’s heart attack and he’s made important changes that have improved his life quality considerably. Both my grandfather and grandmother died of heart disease. They experienced immense socio-economic challenges and faced more stressful life situations than I could possibly imagine.

However, this part of my own family history has inspired me to explore ways to reduce stress in my own life and the lives of my clients. Today, I would like to share with you one idea I find incredibly useful in building a stress-resilient life.   
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Overcoming Sorrow

“Sorrow comes to all… Perfect reality is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better and yet you are sure to be happy again.” – Abraham Lincoln
Sorrow is the opposite of happiness, yet both are part of human existence.

Like life and death and the changing of seasons, it should be familiar enough to recognize that things have a sequence. Sometimes that sequence is a time of birth or rebirth, a creative force that erases failure and negativity. Other times, however, there’s a clearly defined sense of decay, lack of progress, mistakes and endings.

The key to overcoming sorrow and
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Children and Teens

Mother’s Day for Those Without Mothers

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child” - traditional 19th century American spiritual
Not everyone gets the mother every child by birthright deserves. Sometimes a child doesn’t have a mother due to death or abandonment. Sometimes mothers who were not mothered themselves haven’t a clue how to do it. Sometimes a mother is addicted, abused, or mentally or physically ill and has all she can do to survive herself. And sometimes a mother’s idea of mothering is to be selfish or harsh. Whatever the reason, a child who lacks a mother or who lacks a mother who is mothering knows instinctively that something is missing.
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Warning! Don’t Expect to Be Motivated by Motivation

I really dislike the word “motivation.” I try never to use it.

In writing Better Than Before, my book about habit change, and in talking to people about their desired habits, the term “motivation” came up a lot.

And here’s why I don’t like it: People use the term to describe their desire for a particular outcome (“I’m really motivated to lose weight”) as well as their reasons for actually acting in a certain way (“I go to the gym because I’m motivated to exercise”). Desire and action are mixed up in a very confusing way.
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How to Metabolize a Compliment

When you receive a compliment, do you get squirmy, suspicious, or uncomfortable? Or do words of appreciation bring a gentle smile to your face and a warm feeling in your belly?

When someone thanks you for helping them, or expresses gratitude for your kind words or actions, or praises you for some accomplishment or quality of your being, do you let yourself be affected by their thoughtful words? Or do their compliments fall flat, perhaps because you’ve learned to deflect good things that come your way?
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Children and Teens

This Can Make Working Motherhood Needlessly Harder — But You Can Change It

When you’re traveling for work, do you tell yourself that you’re abandoning your children and dodging your responsibilities as a wife and mom? When you’re working from home, and you let your child play by themselves, do you tell yourself that you’re a neglectful mom? Do you tell yourself that you can’t do any of it right—neither the parenting nor the working?
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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: May 12, 2017

Most of us have complicated relationships with our mothers. This makes holidays like the upcoming Mother's Day difficult. Whether or not she is in our lives, it may be a reminder of the relationship we don't have with her, which can cause grief and even anger.

Instead of succumbing to another disappointing holiday of unfulfilled expectations, I suggest you find alternative ways to enjoy the day. If you have kids, celebrate it with them or if you don't, take time to mother yourself.

Our posts this week, give hope, support and reason to make it a special day no matter what you're struggling with.
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