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World of Psychology


Anger

Discipline Without Fear

Proponents for corporeal punishment (spanking, paddling, kneeling on grits or rice, etc.) often claim that it taught them obedience and respect for elders when they were young. If it was good enough for them, they think, it’s good enough for their kids. In fact, studies have shown that about 50% of U.S. families do use physical punishment.

But just because half of families use it doesn’t make it a useful or effective tool for managing children’s behavior. Although it may make a lasting impression on children who experience such punishments, there are many negative consequences that should be every parent’s concern.
Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: October 16, 2018

You constantly seek validation from your boss, friends and partner. This is true even though you're successful, happy and like yourself.

Your need to fish for compliments could stem from a lack of mirroring early in your life.

In Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, Richard Rohr says, "[W]e all need some successes, response, and positive feedback early in life, or we will spend the rest of our lives demanding it, or bemoaning its lack, from others...Basically if you get mirrored well early in life, you do not have to spend the rest of your life looking in Narcissus's mirror or begging for the attention of others."

If these words ring true for you, you'll find support in our posts this week.
Communication

3 Questions for Deeper Connections with Your Partner

It will be worth it. Trust.

Happy, healthy relationships don’t just happen. They develop over time as the result of regular and sustained effort on the part of the men and women involved.

And this doesn't have to mean hard work if you and the person you love commit to asking each other three deep but simple questions every single day.
Books

How to Create Greater Meaning and Purpose in Our Daily Lives

Sometimes we can learn very helpful life lessons from unexpected places. I had an interesting conversation with one of my nieces about her acting class, and began thinking about how the skills she is working on there might apply to all of our lives.  She was sharing with me how she is learning to (1) identify and develop her character’s motivation before she begins any scene; and (2) use techniques to make each scene completely fresh, as if it was unfolding in the moment and not coming from a well-rehearsed script.

Perhaps there is some wisdom in this for all of us to consider.
Addiction

How Do You Have Fun in Your Sobriety?


I love my job; I adore writing. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m having fun. If anything, it shows me how much of my life is work.

I arrived at my therapist’s office earlier this year in a state of complete burnout. My adrenals weren’t producing sufficient cortisol to get me through the day, inflammation was rampant throughout my body, and my immune system had given up.
General

Feel Like You Live for the Weekend? Small Ways to Recharge During Your Week

So many people feel like they just need to get through their workweek so they can finally relax and unwind on the weekend. They feel like they’re running on a treadmill they can’t escape from Monday to Friday, and on Saturday and Sunday, they can finally collapse on the couch or actually have fun.

One reason we feel this way is that we don’t have clear boundaries between work and home, so the weekend is when we let ourselves be “off,” said
Money and Financial

A Therapist’s Advice on How to Save Money on Therapy

The saying “You get what you pay for” is true when it comes to mental health services. Older more experienced therapists are usually the best and so they simply charge more. Therapists who provide sliding scale are typically newer and trying to build up their practice. Clinics are cheap but usually have newer clinicians or those who can't sustain a private practice for whatever reason.

So, if you want someone good, it will cost you more up front but less long term. Some one good means someone who can help you reach your goals sooner and more effectively.
Habits

3 Ways to Stop Taking Things Too Personally


Taking things personally is a reaction, not an emotion.

Your friend insists that she gives you money for giving her a ride, a driver flips you the bird, a stranger asks you if you are expecting, or my favorite (not): you are out with a group of friends and they suddenly start making their list of recipes for the party you were not invited to.

Yup, these things have happened to most of us at some point and I will be the first to admit, it is hard not to take them personally.
Anger

Walking the Tightrope of Anger

If nothing else was evident in the recent hearing for Judge Brett Kavanaugh (regardless of where you stand on the political spectrum) was that he verbalized quite vociferously the emotional state he was in. To even the most obtuse observer, the vocabulary he used, his choice of words, the decibel level at which he spoke, his facial expressions and the energy he radiated, made it clear that he was not in control of his emotions. Anger was running the show.

What he was experiencing could be referred to as