Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: April 25, 2017

Have you ever untangled a necklace or earbud cord?

It's incredibly frustrating.

As I unravel the cord or attempt to take apart a twisted chain, I feel a surprising amount of resistance. Here are the voices that flood my thoughts:

"There are a million things I need to do."

"Why can't this one thing be easy?"

"I wish this would go faster."

By the time I'm done, I want to quit, throw the thing away or in such a mood I couldn't care less that it's done.

Rushing through worsens the situation. Negative thoughts or in other words NUTS and ANTS (read our top post to see what I mean) adds suffering to my experience.

I'm reminded that it was never about the external things anyway. The obstacles you encounter are simply representations of what's going on inside.

See if you can use the challenges in your life as opportunities to stretch yourself by practicing mindfulness, and learning patience or acceptance on a smaller scale.
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Anxiety and Panic

How to Love and Support a Woman with Anxiety


Trust me, she's worth it.

So, you've fallen in love with a woman who has anxiety.

You're one of the lucky ones. You have met a woman who feels deeply. Commercials for dog food make her cry. So does messing up that Pinterest recipe she was so excited to try. She loves fiercely, and, if you are lucky, she will choose to love you. Here is how you love back someone with anxiety:

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Happiness

The Surprising Reason Why Money Can’t Buy Happiness

Money can’t buy happiness. But why not?

After all, money has its advantages. In one study, Nobel Prize-winning scientists Daniel Kahneman and Angus Keaton looked at this question. They found that as income increases, life-satisfaction rises too.

On the role of money in his dating life, Curb Your Enthusiasm comedian Larry David, quipped, "She's supposed to like me for myself? I don't even like me for myself!"

Still, most of us intuitively feel money alone can’t explain happiness. Let’s look at why.
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Happiness

Will Marriage Make Me Lose My Identity?

"No man is an island” said 17th-century author John Donne.

This is true in marriage. Yet we can and should keep our separate identities after tying the knot.

We should also accept that none of us is totally self-sufficient. We depend on car mechanics, airplane pilots, farmers, friends, accountants, therapists, and others. Certainly, in a good marriage we rely on our marriage partner. We respect each other’s individuality and also connect as romantic partners and as lifetime teammates.   
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Creativity

The Importance of Finding Your Happy Place

We all need a place we can go to in our minds for comfort and to feel calm.  My relaxation theory is that if we visit that place in our heads, we’ll feel better.  Some people imagine an ocean beach, with calm waves returning to the shore and warm breezes blowing in their hair and the smell of salt in the air.  Some people contemplate their family home where they grew up, maybe their childhood bedroom.  For some, that is their happy place.  I’ve always had luck with imagining myself out in the woods in a rustic environment with no one around for many miles surrounded by trees of all kinds their leaves dripping in cool water.
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Children and Teens

Parenting: The Importance of Expectations

Ask any parent and they’ll tell you parenting is not for wimps. It requires courage to face the terrifying uncertainty of caring for a helpless infant; the uncontrollable tantrums of an oppositional toddler; the tears of the older child when limits are set; to the rage of the adolescent when their independence is challenged, and whose criticisms cut like a sharp knife to the heart. Through it all, love and discipline must hold steady and strong.
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Addiction

Supplementing the 12-Step Program with Yoga


Author Taylor Hunt is teaching people struggling with addiction a new tool for recovery: Ashtanga Yoga. His charity works with treatment centers, halfway houses, and prisons.

Taylor Hunt recently broke his anonymity and published a gritty memoir of his drug addiction, A Way from Darkness. The way out, he found, was the 12-step program coupled with Ashtanga Yoga -- a dynamic series of physical poses and breath work -- which he now teaches at the center he founded in Columbus, Ohio and around the world.

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Friends

How to Manage Your Friends (Without Making It Awkward)

When you’re a fast-rising millennial stepping into a managerial role for the first time, there’s certainly a lot to think about. You’ve probably wondered if your older colleagues will consider you experienced enough.
Or maybe you’ve thought about how the shift in responsibility will affect your work-life balance.
But many new managers have a worry that’s seldom addressed, even though it’s widespread: how to navigate managing peers and friends.
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Family

On Grieving and Celebrating the Deceased

Aunt Jane died.  She was 95.  Aunt Jane was the lady who taught me how to play jacks and cats’ cradle in 1969 when I was six-years-old.  She fed me salmon patties, which I grew to like.  She took me on daily walks by the duck pond.

When we all got older, it was my brothers and I who entertained Aunt Jane.  We took her to lunch at the steak house or stopped at a burger joint and picked up food and took it to her apartment, where we laughed and joked and marveled at our aunt, born in 1921.  Jane still called the refrigerator the “ice box.”
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Children and Teens

The Importance of ’13 Reasons Why’ and It’s Reflection of Teen Mental Health

Warning: This article does include spoilers for the Netflix series "13 Reasons Why".

On March 31, 2017 Netflix released a new series titled, “13 Reasons Why”, based off the book by author Jay Asher. This series depicts a young man, Clay Jensen, and his journey to bring justice for his friend Hannah Baker. Hannah, a seventeen-year-old high school junior with nothing but the future before her, took her life on a seemingly calm afternoon. Why is this important? The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that in individuals between the ages of 10 and 24 years old, suicide is the third leading cause of death.
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