Life is all about balance, and as a person with bipolar disorder it is not something I am good at.
I struggle finding the balance in my life whether it be with my personal relationships or my work life. I struggle more than the normal person would but that’s because guess what? I am not normal.
Let me say that again in case I didn’t make it clear enough. I am not normal! And guess what? I am okay with that. In fact, it is something I have learned to love about myself. My individuality has come to be something I cherish.
God broke the mold the day he made me
One of my good friends of about 15 years said the other day on Facebook that God broke the mold the day he made me. While I don’t know about my belief in the whole “God” thing, I totally appreciate that what my dear friend Rhonda meant was there is no one else in the world like me. She went on to say that she was glad to call me her forever friend.
How lucky can one girl be to have friends who know you are one of a kind?
I joke and say that I am the person you have to apologize for before you introduce them, but my true friends say that is what is so fun about me. Listening for what comes out of my mouth, because you just never do know. I admit, I am very unpredictable at times. Being bipolar I normally say what is on my mind and what I am thinking.
Normally, not all of it should be said. Some of what I say should be kept to myself but I don’t have the ability to do it. I am so honest that I don’t know how not to say certain things; sometimes I wish I did. I have no filter and I just can’t help myself.
I have this obsessive need to be liked by everyone
I have often gotten myself into a lot of terrible pickles because of the things I have said. Sometimes I say things that may not be so nice in order to make someone feel better about themselves or in order to make them like me more.
I have this obsessive need to be liked by everyone and will go to great lengths to be liked by almost anyone. Normally, this doesn’t work out in my favor. I try hard not to talk badly of others but I have found that if I am around others who are bipolar and have a negative outlook – or are a gossiper – I will tend to also do the same.
I sometimes have to remember I can’t allow myself to hang around people with this type of personality. Since I know that I will go into that sort of behavior when I am around those types of people, I don’t think of myself as a person who is in the wrong when I cut these types out of my life. I consider myself smart.
I think to know yourself well enough to be mindful of the personalities that don’t blend well with your own is a wonderful thing. If others can’t respect that then it becomes their issue and not your issue.
I believe this is a form of protecting myself
I believe this is a form of protecting myself. I have a lot of friends who love me and know the great person I am. Unfortunately, every now and then there are people who come into your life and you start to have a mood swing. Then when you do and have to reevaluate the situation and do what is right for you and the others in your life they may make you feel as if you are doing something wrong. Remember you are taking care of yourself, and when you have bipolar disorder sometimes putting yourself first is a form of self-care.
We all know that self-care is highly overlooked and not done often enough. I have to remember it is in my and my family’s best interest to take care of my health above all else.