As anyone who has read my posts knows, the last few weeks have been touch and go. I’ve had some depression and paranoia problems which have accounted for a lot of weirdness in my daily life, from dealing with neighbors, to just generally being out in public. There was even a day when I went as far into my head as to contemplate what would happen were I to die.
Thankfully, this time I refrained from posting about that on Facebook, instead letting my family know. My family is my main support structure and thankfully we were able to get me in to see my psychiatrist to tweak my meds.
For the two weeks leading up to the appointment, though, I was nervous. My doctor was assigned to me by the community mental health center and I’d be lying if I said she’s not exactly my favorite person in the world. That being said, I was worried that when I would go in she would want to change around all of my meds and get me on something new and completely different than the cocktail that has essentially worked for me for years. It would be safe to say I don’t entirely trust my new doctor but I seem to always forget that most of the time, doctors have my best interest in mind.
What I’m saying is that I know what it’s like to be apprehensive about seeing a doctor to change your meds. I’d like to help anyone in that position.
What I thought was going to be a hard appointment, argumentative and overwhelming turned out to be much easier than I expected because of one thing. That thing was the fact that I had decided beforehand that I was going to be completely honest about everything that has been going and about all the stuff I was feeling. I think that’s the key.
Just be aware of how you’re feeling, pay attention to the small stuff and then go in with an open mind and be honest about what’s been going on.
The appointment turned into a little therapy session and my doctor made a suggestion that seemed more than reasonable, one that didn’t involve changing too much and one that I was more than OK with.
Sometimes, and I don’t know why, tweaks need to be made to ensure a good level of relative sanity. Sometimes the world throws weird stuff at you that you weren’t equipped to handle before or something in your brain chemistry changes and you need to go in. I’ve come to accept that. Stability is a never-ending game. Sometimes you have great months and great years and sometimes life punches you in the face.
The point of all this is that it’s OK to go see a doctor if you feel like things may not be exactly right.
There’s a running thread in the mental illness community: Your illness does not make you weak. It’s not a fault of your character that you have an illness, and accepting that sometimes you need to change things around is something that needs to be done continually.
The most important thing to remember when you do go see your doctor, though, is that it’s important to be honest. It’s also important to be relatively self-aware and to be open to different possibilities about what needs to be done to maintain stability.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor about meds if you feel like they need to be changed. It’ll be one of the best things you can do for yourself.