The other day I was driving and the singer Ne-Yo’s new song came on and I was feeling it. The title of the song is “Good Man,” and basically he sings about what a guy should do in his relationship in order to be a “Good Man.”
Ne-Yo is really helping out all the fellas with this one. It’s a great song and many women will be thanking him for releasing it. As someone who works with couples and helps them resolve conflicts, the song inspired me to write a blog post about it.
Just in case some of my fellow men didn’t totally understand what Ne-Yo was singing about, here are some tips on how to be a “Good Man” to your significant other.
Make Her a Priority
This is easier than you think. Making her a priority doesn’t mean you have to drop everything, commiting your life and every waking moment to her. But you do need to make her #1. It’s the small things, like picking up her call instead of calling her back. Or replying to a text as soon as you get it, instead of waiting 15 minutes. If you are getting off of work late, let her know and send updates. If your children interrupt your conversation, let them know you are talking to mommy. You will talk to them when the two of you finish your conversation.
No woman ever wants to be on the bottom of the list in her man’s life and she shouldn’t. As a man it’s your job to make her feel and know that no one comes before her.
Admit You Are Not Perfect
Let’s face it, you will make mistakes, you probably made a couple mistakes today! But guess what? It’s okay. No one is perfect. Admit when you are wrong, take accountability for your actions, and learn from your mistakes. When working with couples, one of the most common complaints women have of their husbands is that there is no sort of accountability of their wrong doing. It’s described as frustrating and neglectful of their feelings. Once you begin to acknowledge your mistakes, and learn from them, this will allow the two of you to grow and she will be appreciative of it.
This is probably the easiest of all — just compliment her. Why should she have to ask you how she looks in her outfit? Be proactive, take the initiative and let her know she looks incredible today. You can add a little flirting and some displays of affection to the mix as well. Also, you do not only have to give her compliments on her looks. You can compliment her on her intellect, parenting skills, or anything else she does exceptionally well. Just make sure you compliment her every day; she will adore you for it. Trust me!
Some guys may think they’ve got this one in the bag. I beg to differ. Are you really tending to your woman’s needs? Do you know what she likes? Or what you like? For the most part men are physical and women emotional, so satisfying her comes well before foreplay begins. Combine satisfying her physical needs along with her emotional needs and you might enter another, higher realm. If you go back to the first tip and make her a priority, combine that with the third tip of taking the initiative and complimenting her and mix that with knowing what turns her on sexually. Before you know it you are in business.
Do Not Embarrass Her
When I was younger, my father would tell me not to embarrass him. He would say, “I gave you your name (last name) and you need to carry it with respect, do not ruin it (our last name).” I feel it’s the same thing with your wife or soon-to-be-wife. If she carries your name or is about to, you shouldn’t do anything to embarrass her. Like it or not what you do is a reflection on her. She should be able to trust you whenever and wherever. Showing her respect when she’s not around is as important as when she is around.
Have a Plan
Last but certainly not least is: “Have a Plan.” There is an African Proverb that says, “For tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.” If the two of you intend on spending the rest of your lives together, you need a plan. You need to let her feel safe; she needs a sense of security. She needs to know that everything is going to be alright.
Also, this helps us out, men. I dislike it when I hear a guy say, “she never supports me in what I do.” Of course she’s not going to support you if you DON’T HAVE A PLAN. Developing a plan shows her you have dreams and aspirations. I guarantee, if you have a well-thought plan, she will be much more supportive towards your goals for your future and your family. A goal without a plan is just a wish. If you lack in this area too long, you may be wishing you didn’t mess things up.
Hopefully these tips are helpful to the men out there. It’s easier than you think to be a “Good Man.” Just be consistent with these tips and you will be in good shape.
You can catch Ne-Yo’s song by clicking here. If you have any additional tips leave a comment or tag me on Instagram @feelpositivelygood and Twitter @MichaelBTherapy. I leave you with this, if you want to be treated as a KING you must first tend to your QUEEN.