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Empowering Our Girls: Being Part of the #MeToo Solution

Recently, a memory of an experience I had made me think about how we can empower our girls and young women in a culture that is wrought with many obstacles to do so. A number of years ago I saw a new male doctor for some medical issues I was experiencing. He was warm and friendly, but instead of putting me at ease, something didn’t feel right. In his brief exam (with my clothes on) he lingered in a way that gave me an uncomfortable gut feeling. He asked me questions about my sex life that seemed irrelevant to my issues. He sat unusually close to me and gave me a hug when I left, which no other doctor had ever done.
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What Is Revenge Porn?

Break-ups can be difficult and often quite painful. But imagine that the person you loved and trusted for the duration of your relationship decided to take revenge on you for breaking it off. What does that look like? Well, there are a variety of ways that a scorned lover might express their resentment, but in today’s era of cyber-everything, revenge porn is becoming a tool of choice for many in their quest for vengeance.
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Brain Blogger

Could Marijuana Contribute to Sexual Dysfunction?

Marijuana consists of a mixture of dried plant leaves, flowers, and/or stems of the Cannabis Sativa plant. In addition, there is a resin-based version of marijuana that is called hash. Most people either smoke marijuana or vape it (warming it, but not cooking it), but it can also be ingested in oil form. The most common way to ingest marijuana is to roll it up and smoke it like you would a cigarette or cigar, or use a smoking tool like a pipe. Some users, however, consume weed by infusing foods (i.e., butter and cooking oil) or teas.
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Getting Married? Couples Counseling Can Help Your Love Last

Premarital counseling might seem like the last item you want on your wedding to-do list, but consider it the best gift to your marriage. Couples counseling isn't just for those in crisis, or who are experiencing relationship difficulties. Learning to equip your relationship early on with strong communication, compromise, and problem-solving skills will help your marriage thrive.
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Sex Addiction in Modern Times

The #MeToo movement has prompted many different discussions about boundaries, responsibility, and society. The issues surrounding what constitutes sexual harassment or sexual assault also relate to how someone could cross those boundaries in the first place. Excessive alcohol use or unclear communication are most often seen in college-aged assaults. While still distressing, multiple extra-marital affairs, financial distress from purchasing sex, and compulsive porn-watching seem to stem from a different source than the alcohol or miscommunication assaults. One term that’s been used to describe the "why" of these actions, is called sexual addiction.
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“Just Say No”: If Only Boundary-Setting Was That Easy

Sometimes it’s easier to say yes than it is to say no. Nobody likes to feel mean, just as nobody likes to disappoint. When women are faced with the choice to either please themselves or feel guilty for not pleasing others, "no" can feel like a double-edged sword. 

"Just Say No" is more complicated than it seems. The slogan, once-popularized by Nancy Reagan for fighting the drug war, has crept its way into sexual assault awareness. Even today, society pressures women to be "nice" and polite, making assertiveness more difficult. If women refuse to say no and instead, go along with whatever is suggested, despite their actual feelings, the repercussions can be major.
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Brain Blogger

When Does Being Sexually Uptight Become Dangerous?

Is the US the world’s most uptight nation regarding sex? Maybe not the most, but certainly among them. For example, the US has more laws regulating sexual behavior than all European countries combined. US prudishness is so severe as to be deadly. To end sexual violence and harassment against women, something has to change.

Is America the World’s Most Uptight Nation When It Comes to Sex?

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Brain and Behavior

The Surprising Sexuality of (Male) Gamers

The modern stereotype of people who frequently play video games needs finally to be put to rest. Gamers, as they're known, are actually not losers residing in their parents' basement, but rather people from all different backgrounds who enjoy the entertainment value that spending time playing video games affords.

Along with that stereotype is the belief that gamers' sexuality must also be less than ideal. Losers in basements can't have a healthy, positive sex life, right?

Let's find out...

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What’s Happening to Men Today?

Recently I wrote about my experiences growing up with guys who groped, leered, flashed me and more. Since then I’ve received many letters from women who thanked me for writing about “their” experiences. And one letter from a man, expressing regrets that I had to go through all that.

This week I’m writing about the growing tide of #MeToo stories that are toppling powerful men.

Four important questions are haunting me; questions that we need to ask ourselves if we want to fully appreciate the changes that are happening in our culture. Though a book could be written about any one of these topics, I’ll attempt a brief answer to each one.
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Ethics & Morality

Behave Yourself Before I Tell Your Mother: Sexual Harassment Then and Now

Oh, how I wished I could have faced down the gropers when I was a kid. I wish I could have said something. Anything. But way back then, silence was the order of the day. You didn’t tell. Not your mom. Not your friends. Nobody.

But that doesn’t mean you didn’t stew about it. Or obsess about what you’d want to do. My obsession, strangely enough, was not to have the courage to tell my mom, but to tell the groper’s mother. She would then lecture him, shame him, punish him for his behavior. At least, that was my fantasy. Reflecting on it, I realize that I was looking to turn the table on my tormentor. Let him be disgraced. Dishonored. Mortified. Let him feel what that’s like. Yeah!
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#MeToo: When Social Media Can Actually Destigmatize


And judging by my Facebook feed, #YouToo.

For those living under a Facebook rock, the #MeToo hashtag exposes just how pervasive sexual violence is. It lives in seedy basement frat houses and corporate halls of power. And while I frequently disparage social media activism (it is more social than activism -- at least from my perspective), the #MeToo hashtag resonates more than #ThrowbackThursday, #FlashbackFriday, or some other silly social media moniker.  
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