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Grief and Loss

How to Rebuild After a Break Up

Have you recently walked away from a long-term relationship?

Acknowledging the relationship was no longer working can be difficult and walking away even harder. Often, people think they're going to immediately start on a new path and jump into the next long-term phase of their lives; but both my personal experience and experience working with clients show that's not how it usually works. Normally, there's a little phase in between long-term situations, and it's absolutely critical to let this phase play out.
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Invest in Yourself: 5 Self-Care Tips for Bringing Out Your Best Self

In a busy life, self-care is often pushed aside or given low priority. Perhaps a weekly yoga class or run around the block on weekends are all you can fit in. But for optimal functioning you need to invest in your mind and emotions as well as your physical health.

The basis of looking after yourself is self-love. Not the narcissistic kind with false self-admiration but the love you have for yourself as a precious human being who deserves to be treated with respect and care and who has the right to be who they really are. With such spiritually-based kind and generous attitude towards yourself you know that looking after yourself on every level of your being is essential for living the best life you can.
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Brain and Behavior

Why You Shouldn’t Give Up on Your New Year’s Resolutions

The time-honored tradition of making New Year's resolutions is deeply rooted in our modern culture. Perhaps because when it is a new year, we feel it's a good time for us also to be renewed. We can change. We can become a better person.

Somewhere between 40 and 50 percent of people make New Year's resolutions (American Medical Association, 1995; Epcot Poll, 1985). But how many people actually keep at least one of their resolutions?

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“Just Say No”: If Only Boundary-Setting Was That Easy

Sometimes it’s easier to say yes than it is to say no. Nobody likes to feel mean, just as nobody likes to disappoint. When women are faced with the choice to either please themselves or feel guilty for not pleasing others, "no" can feel like a double-edged sword. 

"Just Say No" is more complicated than it seems. The slogan, once-popularized by Nancy Reagan for fighting the drug war, has crept its way into sexual assault awareness. Even today, society pressures women to be "nice" and polite, making assertiveness more difficult. If women refuse to say no and instead, go along with whatever is suggested, despite their actual feelings, the repercussions can be major.
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Anxiety and Panic

How Fear Traps You into Being Someone You Are Not

The fear response is triggered when facing danger. The
"danger" could be not measuring up to a desired or imposed standard, not getting done what you set out to do, not fulfilling expectations (your own or someone else's), being seen as less than perfect or failing at something. There is also the "danger" of not fitting in and being noticeably different from the norm. All these fears and anxieties stem from questioning your ability to cope with life’s challenges and people’s responses to your actions.
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The One Person You Always Need to Trust Is You!

Most successful and beneficial relationships include an element of trust. Expecting loyalty, reliability and trustworthiness you assume that the other person will do what they say, that their word can be relied upon and that promises, commitments and agreements will be kept. When trust is broken it leads to disappointment, suspicion and damaged relationships that are hard to repair.

As it relates to the interactions you have with other people, this kind of trust has an external focus. But there is an even more important kind -- the trust you have in yourself.
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4 Perils of Perfectionism

Many of us hold high expectations for ourselves. We strive for a goal that is impossible to reach, whether in our love life, worklife, or family life. When we fall short, as we inevitably do, we may become paralyzed by self-criticism and shame.

Here are four pitfalls that result from our penchant to strive for perfection -- and how to keep our expectations under control.

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Flexible Boundaries: Affirming Ourselves While Staying Connected

Personal boundaries are often discussed as knowing where we end and others begin. Boundaries define who we are -- honoring ourselves as a separate individual with needs and wants that differ from others. Without setting boundaries, we may allow others to trample over us and override our own feelings and what’s important to us. We lose our voice; we get lost in their world of desires. Having very weak boundaries, we may get eaten alive by people who are very clear about what they want!

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