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Bullying

How Psychological Abuse Damages Your Self

Psychological abuse leaves no visible marks and often remains hidden within families, romantic relationships, toxic individuals and groups, cults and organizations of various religious and non-religious orientations. However, it is at least as damaging as the more explicitly violent forms of physical and sexual abuse. Mental, emotional and spiritual abuse leaves lasting damage to a person’s sense of self, confidence and ability to navigate life successfully.

It often takes considerable time for psychological abuse to be recognized for what it is. Perpetrators are masters at manipulation and creating a harmless facade behind which they use a range of techniques to keep their victims in line.
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Agitation

Feeling Disgruntled? How to Change Your Mood

“Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Everyone experiences a bad mood from time to time. In fact, it’s considered normal to have different emotions given circumstances, physical ailments or condition, lack of sleep, too much work or other stress and a variety of other causative factors. Still, when you’re in a funk, feeling disgruntled, you want a quick way out of it. After all, feeling dissatisfied is no way to live on a continuing basis. So, how do you change your mood? Perhaps these tips will help.
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General

Video: I Don’t Have to Apologize; I’m Mentally Ill!


Transcript For "No Apology, I'm Mentally Ill" Video


Q: Why do I have to apologize for things that I did when I was really symptomatic? I was sick, it's not my fault!

People bring this up to me a lot. For some reason they think if you have a symptom of an illness, that you have, I don't know, immunity. I kind of look at it like this: if you're driving your car and you pass out because of low blood sugar, and you ram into the back of somebody else's car, the explanation for why you did that isn't because you're a bad person or even a bad driver. It's because you were sick and that's why you rammed the back of their car. But see here's the thing -- you still have to fix their car!
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Books

8 Ways to Support Yourself Through Bereavement

As we age we are inevitably bereaved more often, and it is at a time of our life when we are more vulnerable. Research shows that the generation that are in their 60's and older are the least likely to access or receive appropriate support when someone dies, and this is particularly true of men.

Through my work as a bereavement psychotherapist for the last 25 years, I have learned from my clients what can help them at such a difficult time, and I have developed the concept of "pillars of strength" -- these are active things we can do to help us manage the pain of loss, and build an internal structure when we feel there is a terrible black hole inside us.  
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Communication

Am I in a Jealous Relationship?

Jealousy is a common problem in relationships. Romantic relationships can certainly cause jealousy, but so can family members, friends and co-workers. According to Gordon Clanton, a professor of sociology at California State University, jealousy is a protective reaction to a perceived threat to a valued relationship.

Without jealousy, there may be little protection or ownership of the relationship. Too much jealousy, however, can lead to unhealthy patterns of attachment.
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Books

Valentine’s Day Exclusive: A Strengths-Based Approach to Happily Ever After — Author Interview with Suzie and James Pawelski

PC: Your book Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love that Lasts has just come out and it shot to the top of Amazon’s new releases. Why do you think there is such a demand for this new approach and your work?

S&JP: We believe people are hungry for information on how to be happy together. We wrote this book because there is so much focus in our culture on getting together rather than being together and staying together. So much emphasis on the wedding -- rather than the marriage -- and all the decisions we need to make for just one day, a magical day no doubt, but what about all the days to come once we are married? There isn’t much out there that tells you how to be happy together. Unlike in fairy tales, “happily ever after” doesn’t just happen. It’s healthy habits that build happiness over the long haul.
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Depression

Reclaiming Your Life After Breaking Up

As the saying goes, breaking up is hard to do. There are few things more painful than the heartache of separating from someone who has found their way into our heart -- the shock of a sudden ending and being alone again. How can we heal and move on after such a gut-wrenching trauma?

A complex slew of feelings may overwhelm us after a break-up. How can we tap into inner resources that might help us heal?

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Communication

Manage the Unspoken Messages You’re Sending Others


Clear your negative thoughts and align with a more loving and warm-hearted energy before you speak or act.

We have all experienced the impact of our words and actions in relationships. When we say something mean or snarky, people tend to react with either a return attack or defensiveness. What we tend to be far less aware of is the power of the energy we are holding when we say and do things. For instance, if you are visiting family during the holidays and say, “So great to see you again!” while thinking far less kind sentiments, the negative energy transmitted may well get a negative reaction in spite of the kind words.

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Happiness

How to Stop Being Petty and Live Life Joyously

I cannot recall the last time I was overly judgmental and petty, although I know it’s happened far more times in my life than I care to admit.

I know that I was quick to criticize and complain when I was a young girl about real and/or imagined bad behavior toward me on the part of my older brother and his friends. Sometimes that got me into trouble instead of him. I remember that rankled me as unfair and I occasionally (OK, a little more often than that) wanted revenge. Still, over the ensuring years I’ve learned a lot about the value of being the best version of myself I can be. Here are some of my tips on how to stop being petty and live life joyously.
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