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Books

8 Ways to Support Yourself Through Bereavement

As we age we are inevitably bereaved more often, and it is at a time of our life when we are more vulnerable. Research shows that the generation that are in their 60's and older are the least likely to access or receive appropriate support when someone dies, and this is particularly true of men.

Through my work as a bereavement psychotherapist for the last 25 years, I have learned from my clients what can help them at such a difficult time, and I have developed the concept of "pillars of strength" -- these are active things we can do to help us manage the pain of loss, and build an internal structure when we feel there is a terrible black hole inside us.  
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Communication

Am I in a Jealous Relationship?

Jealousy is a common problem in relationships. Romantic relationships can certainly cause jealousy, but so can family members, friends and co-workers. According to Gordon Clanton, a professor of sociology at California State University, jealousy is a protective reaction to a perceived threat to a valued relationship.

Without jealousy, there may be little protection or ownership of the relationship. Too much jealousy, however, can lead to unhealthy patterns of attachment.
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Children and Teens

Preventing and Healing from School Violence Takes a Village

As our nation reels from the devastating event of the school shooting in Florida this week (number 18 in 2018, according to CNBC and other media outlets), it’s easy to point fingers and blame the gun industry for making the guns, law makers for what they are or aren’t doing to control gun access, the perpetrator for his mental health issues and his alleged obsession with guns and knives and death, the leadership of the school, the parents….the list goes on.  

But, as  
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Brain and Behavior

Genealogy in the Psyche Department

Perhaps a psychological mapping of the human genome would tell us the future odds of being bullied in school, or of becoming a priest.

Genes inherited from the "family tribe" contribute to the formation of self through a complicated process that incorporates a fusion of interrelated factors: genetic traits, familial relationships, societal interactions, educational opportunities, random influences, etc.
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Communication

Manage the Unspoken Messages You’re Sending Others


Clear your negative thoughts and align with a more loving and warm-hearted energy before you speak or act.

We have all experienced the impact of our words and actions in relationships. When we say something mean or snarky, people tend to react with either a return attack or defensiveness. What we tend to be far less aware of is the power of the energy we are holding when we say and do things. For instance, if you are visiting family during the holidays and say, “So great to see you again!” while thinking far less kind sentiments, the negative energy transmitted may well get a negative reaction in spite of the kind words.

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Family

Super Bowl Babies: More Boy Births 9 Months Later?

Ah, Super Bowl Sunday. One of the unofficial national holidays of Americans, and second only to Thanksgiving in the amount of food and drink consumed. The annual championship game of the National Football League in the U.S. is often the most-watched television event of the year.

After any big event -- whether man-made or natural -- researchers often find surprising trends in birth rates. When you follow the data, all sorts of interesting things can be discovered.

Let's find out how Super Bowl Sunday influences birth rates in America.

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Addiction

5 Ways to Cope with Addiction as a Family


Addiction is a family issue and needs to be treated as such.

Nowadays, the unfortunate reality is that many of us have been affected in some way by addiction.

We personally may not be the person suffering from the addiction but odds are there is someone in your family or circle of friends who are either currently addicted or working on a program of recovery. The latest opioid crisis has brought addiction to the spotlight, but addiction as a problem has been around for decades.

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Family

Are You Regularly Leaping to Conclusions in Your Life?

You’re walking to work, and suddenly see a friend of a friend heading your way. You’re about to say hi, but they pass right by, without even acknowledging you. Obviously, they don’t like you. You keep asking your friend to get together, but they ignore you. Obviously, they’re mad at you or don’t want to be around you. Your spouse gets home from work, and barely says a word. Obviously, they’re annoyed that the house is a mess, and the baby is screaming—and they think it’s all your fault. Your boss has yet to return your call or email. Obviously, it’s because they’re disappointed with your latest presentation or overall performance.   
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Children and Teens

How Pets Can Teach Children about Life, Love and Loss


Why kids and pets are the perfect pairing.

As parents, we try to protect our children from life’s pain, so we tend to keep them in an illusion -- a rosy bubble -- as if life is a one-sided experience. At least, I do, while knowing full well that life is both pain and joy, highs and lows, light and darkness. But recently I had to reconsider my parenting approach, as the time had come for me to outgrow it and step out of my own bubble of fear.

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Family

5 (Subtle) Signs Your Mother Is a Covert Narcissist

After all -- It is all about her, not you.

Not every narcissistic mother fits the fading movie star image -- braggadocious and vain saying, “I’m ready for my close up Mr. DeMille.”

Because women have been socialized to appear accommodating and self-effacing, these learned behaviors could obscure an underlying narcissistic personality disorder. Mom might be the helicoptering PTA president, squeaky-clean Sunday school teacher or long-suffering martyred momma who appears to put her children first. Don’t be fooled.
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