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Best of Our Blogs: January 16, 2018

Many of you may not know this, but I live in Hawaii. Most days are the same when you live on an island. We don't get seasons here, and for much of the year news is rather light.

This is why when I received a text from my dad and our emergency alert system that a missile was on its way and it was not a drill, it was pretty terrifying.

Fortunately, I missed most of the drama since by the time I woke up, everyone discovered it was indeed a mistake.

Yet, it's been a few days now. Every once in awhile while it was quiet, I'd feel a surge of fear. What if it was real?

As I write this it's Martin Luther King Day. Reading through all of his quotes are like strings of hope, a soothing balm to heal the soul. This one in particular has helped me: "We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear."

I decided that courage and love are far more powerful than fear. As you attack your own personal struggles, I hope his words, which you can also read more about
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Best of Our Blogs: January 12, 2018

I've been watching the HEAL documentary which features spiritual teachers including Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra and Reverend Michael Beckwith. The idea that our emotions can heal our physical bodies is a complete change in mindshift. For years, our power has been displaced.

Watching how our bodies have the potential to heal by our own efforts was a hopeful reminder of just how powerful we are. Instead of believing we're victims solely dependent on doctors and their prognosis for us, we have the ability to heal and restore our own health.

I think it's an important message whether you're seeking advice for how to raise your child, deal with the narcissist in your life, or control your anger, remember experts are important guides for support and insight, but you are also an expert in your personal experiences. Using both resources is the way towards our own physical and emotional healing, and well-being.
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Best of Our Blogs: January 9, 2017

How do we return back to business as usual now that the holidays are over?

There's something magical that happens to us around New Year's Eve. While we're normally non-believers and curmudgeons the other days of the year we suddenly and miraculously believe we can have the family we've always wanted, be recognized at our job and find the perfect mate.

While those are all achievable dreams, we still have to contend with the fact that it's Tuesday. We're at work. We're living the same as we did in 2017.

How do we keep that motivation and excitement so it doesn't fizzle out? Read these posts to identify what's prevented you from being successful in the past and what small steps you can do start the process of change now.
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Best of Our Blogs: January 5, 2018

I don't know about you, but I've been hit with an onslaught of emails all advertising the perfect way to make me the skinniest, healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life. It's so tempting to believe there is an easy magic solution to solve all of our problems. The truth is life is hard and to get what we really want, we actually need to do the work.

If you're ready to dive into change instead of fantasize about it, our posts this week will help you reflect, create and work on what you really want in 2018.
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Best of Our Blogs: January 2, 2018

Well here it is 2018! How are you feeling?

Before you sign up for that gym membership or get swooped into another round of resolution-making, stop. Take a pause. Breathe. Reflect on who you were in 2017, what you accomplished (even if it was something you consider irrelevant like getting up in the morning and going for a walk), and be grateful for that person and all that he/she did.

We rush so fast to become someone else. We forget and neglect that self-love and acceptance our worthy goals as well. In fact, without them, we can't get the things we really desire in life. Chasing after weight loss or romance is just another way of saying, I need something to make myself feel worthy. So slow down this year. Grab a mug of something warm and yummy, read our top posts to start 2018 and then carefully plan out what you want to create in the new year.
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Best of Our Blogs: December 29, 2017

It's something you lost too early. It's why you have trouble trusting people. It even explains why you're anxious and unhappy a lot of the time.

An unstable childhood stole your ability to have faith and believe that in the end everything works out, even if it doesn't work out the way you want it to.

Yet, you're given a chance in every situation, challenge and unpleasant experience you find ourselves in.

Whether you're dealing with a narcissist, uncertain about psychotherapy, or recovering from a relationship or illness, you have an opportunity to practice, and stretch your faith muscle. It's not only a belief that things will always work out, but the belief that you can survive it because you already have.
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Best of Our Blogs: December 26, 2018

As I sip my hot cocoa on Christmas morning, I'm thinking about you, our reader. What are you most desiring in 2018? What gifts has 2017 brought you? What are your greatest concerns, biggest wins and fails?

Although no single post can address every issue, grievance and struggle you're experiencing, I'm grateful for Best of Our Blogs. There are so many places to get information on mental health issues even within our own site. But this blog post biweekly attempts to deliver solace, hope and information for many of the things you're going through in one place.

Besides our posts this week, I wish you well. I wish you happiness, joy and the ability to see how resilient, strong and beautiful you are sitting there reading this, trying to get better, and working on yourself.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays dear reader!
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Best of Our Blogs: December 22, 2017

Christmas is upon us. I, like you, feel the crushing pressure of high expectations and the sinking feeling of disappointment. We all want our holidays wrapped in the perfection of a shiny package. But what's underneath may have us wanting the holidays to be over.

Before we conclude this year as another wash, we can all embrace our current situation by throwing away the fantasy and finding the magic in what's in its place-a beautiful, gorgeous, and messy life that's in the ordinary things. That's how we make our holiday and every day great.

Need extra encouragement? Keep reading because our top posts will help you deal with that narcissist at Christmas and show you the real gift that comes with genuine friendships.
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Best of Our Blogs: December 15, 2017

All those parties. All those encounters with people you'd rather not share space with.

How do you survive without losing your cool?

I was buying stuff for my kids when the cashier arrested me with her constant repetitive talk. As I was multitasking as usual, trying to not let my son climb out of the shopping cart while searching for my membership card, I heard her.

"You're welcome," she kept saying over and over.

It was puzzling at first. She would say it even when I didn't say, "Thank you." Although by the end, I sounded like her only I was repeating back, "Thank you!"

That simple exchange disarms even the most unhappy, grumpiest Scrooge. When someone comes at me with harsh criticism, I have only a few words to say, "Thank you for caring so much!" Because I'm sincere and the words are unexpected, I find that the comment works in my favor. People are kinder and everyone feels heard.

What do you do to help minimize conflict during the holiday season?
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Best of Our Blogs: December 12, 2017

I recently read this post by a singer with bipolar disorder. It opened my eyes to what self-care actually looks like when you're suffering from a mental illness.

Instead of spa days, and yoga, she says for her it looks like slowing down, finding your own way and spending time with friends.

This holiday season as you get lost in other people's expectations, why not create your own list? Not a self-care list that looks good, but one that feels good to you.

Our posts this week on dealing with emotional neglect, a loved one with borderline personality disorder and high conflict may be tips you want to add to your self-care tool kit.
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