I heard an insightful passage this weekend with marriage and family therapist Bonnie Badenoch for Sounds True’s Psychotherapy 2.0 Online Training Summit. Badenoch shared Colorado psychotherapist Matt Licata’s blog post on how we have a tendency to want to solve people’s problems instead of doing what truly works, which is to simply be with them. I thought the passage was inspiring and wanted to share it with you here:
“In speaking with a friend this morning, I was reminded of the great bias in our culture toward the light and away from the darkness. When we meet with a friend who is depressed, feeling hopeless, shut down or otherwise not beaming in joyful, we can become convinced quite quickly that something is wrong. That some mistake has been made which needs fixing. We scramble to put them back together to remind them of all the gifts in their life to let them know everything will be better soon and that it will all turn out okay. It is possible the kindest thing we can offer our suffering friend is to sit in the darkness with them removing the burden that they change, transform, feel better or heal in order for us to love them.”
Maybe someone you love is enduring hardship or change. Maybe they are courageously confronting some of the topics our bloggers mention here. Although it’s tempting to want to make things better for them, take note of Licata’s post and try being present with them instead.
Are Unspoken Family Rules Running Your Life?
(Childhood Emotional Neglect) – As a child, you followed certain family rules that were unspoken. As an adult, it may continue to direct your choices, emotions and identity. Read this to reveal and stop them from controlling your life.
Long-Term Damage of Controlling Parents? Research Tracks Children from their Birth in 1946
(NLP Discoveries) – A research study shows long-term negative effects of controlling parents. This post lists some of the potential consequences a parent’s controlling behavior could have had on you.
Your Bro’s A Billionaire: What Problems Could You Have….?
(Cubanity: Brian Cuban’s Recovery Rantings) – You might erroneously believe that a famous and wealthy family comes with little problems. But here Brian Cuban dishes out his true story behind the fairytale.
Social Media Injustice
(Embracing Balance) – Everyone knows the harm bullying can do. But as Nicole shares here, online bullying can bring it to whole other destructive level. Who should be held accountable on social media? We all need to read this.
Honoring the Rule of Reciprocation
(Building Relationship Skills) – Reciprocation can be a beautiful thing. Problems occur when people take advantage of this human tendency to give back. Here’s how to decipher whether an act of kindness is genuine or out of obligation.