What if the cause of your problems wasn’t due to lack of intense positive experiences, but your fear of fully enjoying them?
It may sound like a radical idea. But it’s something Colorado psychotherapist Bruce Tift believes and spoke about in his podcast with Sounds True:
“A lot of people see neurosis as something that happens to them or they inherited from their history. I prefer to think of neurosis as a practice that has to be maintained continually. I think that our basic agenda in our avoidance strategies is to stay out of too much aliveness—too much openness…But also, I think we organize our lives around avoiding too much sexual intensity, power, joy, open appreciation, uncertainty—things like that. It’s actually very, very intense to be fully present in our life…I think it’s true that we want aliveness and I think it’s true that we want safety and security. But, in a very primitive, unconscious way, I think most of us are probably going to go for safety and security if the aliveness gets to be too much.”
The next time you’re experiencing anxiety or a feeling of being stuck, ask yourself if you’re holding back out of fear from being fully present in your life.
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