It’s that time of year again when greeting cards with messages like, “Mother, my first friend,” makes us feel guilt, resentment, grief and regret.
Our mothers could be alive or gone. Our relationship toxic or healthy. Regardless, it’s complicated.
Mother’s Day exposes it to the light because the desire for a perfect relationship is strong. Even if we get it right at one stage, the dynamic keeps changing from childhood to adulthood and even older adulthood. At some point, we need to shift our expectations, learn to communicate better, and accept the mother we had or have.
While I have no answers here, I can offer you an alternative. You can honor and celebrate your mother as everyone else will be doing on Sunday. But you can also honor yourself for the mother you never got, but wished for. You can find things about your own mother that you can be grateful for. You can mother yourself. The point is that you are an adult with choices about how you want to spend the day and your life.
Happy Mother’s Day and whatever that means to you!
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