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Best of Our Blogs: June 9, 2015

Lean on

Have you been guilty of saying the following:

1) “Everything happens for a reason.”

2) “Time heals all wounds.”

3) “God gives us only what we can handle.”

I’ve heard people use all three multiple times and for varied situations in my life. As for me?

When we’re in the throes of a painful experience, I know it’s the last thing we need to hear. I’ve walked away from friendships because I’ve interpreted those sayings as a lack of emotional support. But I’ve been guilty of making the same mistake.

Loss of the “right” words, feeling helpless and desperate, I’ve admittedly and mistakenly dug through years of psychology post-grad education only to come up with number 3. I cringe every time I think about it.

The lesson I learned is compassion. Experiencing pain itself is one thing. But watching someone we love experience it is quite another. We often want to shield them from grief. We want to protect them from hurt. But it’s not always our responsibility to step in. Maybe the best thing we can do is trust that our loved ones are strong and courageous enough to weather the storm and simply be there, even as a wordless and helpless supporter.

Saying Goodbye to Guilt & Shame
(Embracing Balance) – Maybe you said or did something to someone you love or to yourself. But instead of practicing the art of forgiveness, you’re stuck in a relentless loop of guilt and shame. Here’s how to deal with them so you can finally let go and move forward.

A Message to All the Black Sheep in the World
(Childhood Emotional Neglect) – If you feel like the black sheep, know that who you are has more to do with family dynamics than you think. Here are three other things you need to know about why you are and continue to feel like the odd man out.

How to Avoid Getting into Arguments
(NLP Discoveries) – It seems unreal, but it is possible and even beneficial to avoid arguments. Try this the next time someone is ready to pick a fight with you.

Childhood Abuse, Adult Disease and Early Death
(Psychoanalysis Now) – There’s a very real link between physical and emotional health. Recent research actually shows a relationship between child abuse, and physical and psychological disorders in adulthood.

We All Manipulate People, What if We Didn’t?
(Of Two Minds) – Ever catch yourself talking or complimenting someone just to help your career or finances? This writer did and imagined for a moment what his world would look like if he stopped manipulating others and started living a more honest existence.

Best of Our Blogs: June 9, 2015

Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A.

Brandi-Ann Uyemura is a freelance writer specializing in self-help, spirituality, psychology and small business articles. She has a BA in English from University of Oregon and a MA in Counseling Psychology from Santa Clara University. She writes for various companies and publications and teaches stress management workshops. For more information, see her website

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APA Reference
Uyemura, B. (2018). Best of Our Blogs: June 9, 2015. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 27, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Jul 2018 (Originally: 9 Jun 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Jul 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.